Love is an incredibly powerful
force on this earth. It has the power to bring people or even nations together
to enhance the world. It seems like everyone is looking for love but what
happens when you find it? At first, when you meet someone new and you really
like them, you may think you are in love but in reality it is lust. During this
stage you want to be with the person 24/7 and you care about the person so much
that often time’s people spend every spare minute thinking and communicating
with that person. You are consumed with that person and all you want is to be
with them. Heck even today people decide they want to get married to that
person immediately and they think that the person they “love” is the best
person for them and has absolutely no flaws. This unfortunately is far from the
truth, as humans we all have faults and we are NOT perfect. This all-encompassing thoughts about the person we are
dating is even worse with our first love. I remember my first love, it happened
when I was in high school at a mere 15 years old and we dated for a while, back
then I thought he was the perfect person for me and that I was going to marry
him. Looking back on this, it is incredibly funny, how would I know who was
right for me at 15 years old! I was a child and at the time and had no idea who
I was. Even today as young adults a lot of people do not know who they are yet
they are still getting married because it is the next “step” so to speak in
their life. By no means do I mean any disrespect to people who get married
young as that is their decision, however I personally
feel you should get to know someone for a couple YEARS before you make that
plunge. Ultimately it comes down to really getting to know that person on a deep level and delayed gratification.
A lot of individuals say marriage is a lot of
work and I completely agree, however relationships are just as much work as
marriages. Sure you are not trying to pay double bills or raising kids however
they still require work. I think the
problem is so many of us are trained from Disney movies that we will “meet our
prince and live happily ever after”. What they fail to show is what happens after the marriage or after the
courtship.
I wish that our society looked at
dating much like it occurred during our parents time where a man courted a girl
and they went on dates for a while, after a certain length of time which lasted
from about 6-9 months the guy asked the girl if she would like to go steady and
they then were a couple. Instead
today, we meet someone and within one date we define the relationship and
automatically become a boyfriend or girlfriend. What happened to really getting
to know that person? What happened to growing yourself? What happened to
delayed gratification? I honestly belief that we should try to get back to
something remotely like this. If we don’t jump into relationships then we are
less likely to get our hearts broken, more likely to legitimately get to know
that person and discover if they are truly
the right person for us. Ultimately it comes down to delaying our gratification
in order to truly get to know ourselves and another human being.
Our world is full of instant gratification - and somethings are just better if the wait is prolonged. I always think of the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder... waiting, be patient, it's all worth it. But we're so conditioned - I was just talking to a professor on campus who said that she has a week turn around time on tests and assignments (which I think is pretty good!) and within 48 hours she will have students who are knocking on her door demanding a grade, like her world revolves around JUST that one student and JUST that one assignment. It's almost like a sense of entitlement is ruining our ability to empathize. And YES relationships outside of marriage require work! So glad you brought that up. I have a girlfriend who has been dating a guy for FIVE years and just because they aren't married doesn't mean they don't have serious issues (both good and bad) on their plate! Gah, I could just talk with you for hours!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you!! I think one thing that really creates this instant gratification is our evolving technology. When we were kids waiting was part of life, I can remember waiting for all sorts of things such as birthdays of course, or things as simple as tests. Back in elementary school I think a week was the time period before I got a test back. Now as you mentioned we all want it now and are often not willing to wait for it. Aww thanks! Glad that we can connect though the blogging world!! :D
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