I was recently thinking about
marriage and weddings, I think every girl does from time to time especially
since it is wedding season. The question that has always come to mind when I
see someone getting married is what is more important to them, the wedding or
the marriage. First of all I want to stress that there is NOTHING wrong with
having a reception to celebrate your love whatsoever, the problem I see is when
the actual wedding is more important than the marriage. A wedding lasts one day
but a marriage last a life time, or at least it is supposed to, the divorce
rate in this country is so sad and honestly it is pretty daunting that 50% of marriages
end in divorce. Why then are so many people stressing so much about one day? I
feel the problem lies in the fact that when an individual gets engaged they get
caught up in the ring, the promise of forever, however after admiring the “shiny
diamond” for a couple of months the sole focus is on getting THE perfect
wedding, not to mention one that is better than everyone else. This is clear on shows like “Four Weddings” where
four brides critique each other’s weddings and more often it is nasty and they
trash on everything about the wedding. The bottom line is everyone has different
tastes and what another person likes does not mean you have to like it, but in
no means does it mean that the wedding is not as good as the others. Other
shows such as “Bridezilla” show the extremes of this and I try not to watch
this because I am so ashamed over the behavior of these women.
I wish that in our society it would
be more concerned about the actual marriage and not just getting the perfect wedding/reception.
Like I said previously there is nothing wrong with having one but when it surpasses
the purpose of marriage to join two souls as one I do have a problem with it.
For me weddings should be about love, the celebration of two families as one,
and the sacred promise to both your spouse and G-d to be with your husband or
wife forever. I can only hope that more people realize that a wedding is just
one day but marriage is a lifetime.
Have you gotten married yet? If so did you focus on the wedding or the marriage that comes after it? When you got engaged were you more excited about the title of husband/wife or was it for the reception to celebrate your love? I would love to hear from my lovely readers!
This is so true. I've seen people put way too much pressure on the wedding day and not enough on the marriage. When we were engaged, we went to pre-marital counseling, attended a Sunday school class about marriage and went to a couple marriage seminars. Yes the wedding was important to me because it was the day I promised to love the hubby forever and I fully intend for that to be my only wedding, but preparing for our marriage was so much more important than preparing for our wedding!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more on noticing how people place so much importance on the material aspect of marriage. It may not be that they are materialistic, but I think Western Culture has really altered our perception on marriage. It definitely isn't about ownership nowadays but it isn't about the party alone either! I've been with my husband since I was 15 and he was 14, so...although it was spectacular when he proposed it wasn't as much change as most would expect since we had already lived together and did most everything jointly. When we got married, I had a dress, but we actually had an intimate private wedding with just the two of us after changing plans about having a giant glamorous party. Besides it being more romantic and personal, it also saved us 8 grand, ha! I think sometimes we can really get caught up in the glamour, but it's vital to think about the future together!
ReplyDeletexoxo
Such a great post!!! I agree with everything you said!! I wish more people saw marriage in this light.
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