Discovering Who I Was Meant to Be

As I prepare my mind, body and soul for the holiest day of the Jewish calendar I can’t help but look back on the year that has been and reflect on the year that is to come. There have been so many things that have occurred to me in the past year, some of them were amazing and life changing while others I would rather not talk about or even think about. At the beginning of the secular year I was searching for something and I had no idea what it was until one day I was driving by TBI. I had no idea what made me stop however I immediately pulled in the parking lot and sought information about membership. Growing up secularly I never experience the blessing of belonging to a temple and I had no idea how simply walking into the synagogue that one day would change my life forever. I was told before I join I should check out a couple services first, I agreed with that and since it happened to be a Friday I went to my first Shabbat service later that night. Nervous and not knowing what to expect I sat towards the back a bit isolated until a family walked in and invited me to sit with them towards the center of the sanctuary.

After this warm embrace the rabbi and cantor both came up to me and welcomed me to the sanctuary. The service went on and despite it being my first service ever I enjoyed every minute of it and that night I went home and signed the membership paperwork. I continued to go to services weekly and always looked forward to my day of rest and celebrating the Shabbat. As the weeks went by I gained so much more than just a place to call my temple, I gained an extended family, a place I could feel safe to be myself, and a relationship with G-d. A little while later, I was driving in my car one day listening to Holy Holy Holy and I started crying because of the beautiful relationship I now had with G-d. I had found this after not knowing I needed this living as a secular Jew.

Since that time I have continued to go to services every week, joined the sisterhood as well as a variety of other groups. As I prepare for the Day of Atonement I participated in Tashlich last week with my community. This is a ceremonial casting of our sins into a body of water, I found the experience beautiful and cathartic in a sense, the wind was blowing in my hair and I felt a sense of calm and peace come over me. Although I made mistakes in the past I knew that I could learn from those experiences and become all that I was created to be. There is no doubt I will still continue to make mistakes as the times go on however I know that I can only learn and grown from these mistakes. As I prepare for Yom Kippur I purify my body to then help purify my soul from the sins of this past year and create a new beginning for myself. I will fast for 24 hours Friday evening/ Saturday from both food and water, abstain from anointing perfumes or washing the physical body to help purify the soul among other things. I am looking forward to my experience and it will help me realize all that I can and need to be. This journey of mine has been life changing however I would not trade it for anything in the world. I went from a person looking for something in my life to having everything I could ever want spiritually. I am so thankful for this experience of mine and enjoy growing in my community with my family and friends      

Evolution

It is hard to imagine only one year ago I started nursing school, in that time I have grown so much both professionally and personally. As I complete the final semester of my pre-licensure curriculum I see the tremendous progress I have made in such a short amount of time. Things that I found incredibly hard to complete a year ago are very easy to do now and take very little time to complete. I know where I was a year ago so as a “senior pre-licensure” student I really enjoy helping the new students with any questions they have. I really enjoy passing on my own advice so the new students can be successful in the nursing program. 

As I prepare for boards early next year I can’t help but reflect how far I have come. This progress that I have made only came from a great deal of hard work, determination, and strength. My next goals are to pass boards, get hired at a hospital, and begin caring for patients as an RN. I know I can complete these tasks because I have the knowledge and skills due to the education and training I am receiving from my school. Through my “evolution” I went from someone with very little knowledge at the beginning of the program with a psych degree to an individual that helps to educate the new generation of nursing students.  

Through this journey I learned that you can accomplish all you set your mind to. I have been through countless tests where every answer is correct however I need to figure out which answer is THE best one. I have been through so many clinical hours. I remember in the first semester we started with an 8 hour clinical day which at the time I thought was difficult, now when I am working 12 hour shifts I hit the 8 hour mark and I have an incredible amount of energy and laugh that I used to be tired  at this point. I have done so much in the past year and truly am so grateful for the journey. I can only dream of what is to come in the future.

 If you have a dream stick to it because you WILL be able to accomplish it. The power of the mind is incredible and when we truly set our minds to something we can accomplish it. Don’t ever give up on your dream and ambitions.