Discovering Who I Was Meant to Be

As I prepare my mind, body and soul for the holiest day of the Jewish calendar I can’t help but look back on the year that has been and reflect on the year that is to come. There have been so many things that have occurred to me in the past year, some of them were amazing and life changing while others I would rather not talk about or even think about. At the beginning of the secular year I was searching for something and I had no idea what it was until one day I was driving by TBI. I had no idea what made me stop however I immediately pulled in the parking lot and sought information about membership. Growing up secularly I never experience the blessing of belonging to a temple and I had no idea how simply walking into the synagogue that one day would change my life forever. I was told before I join I should check out a couple services first, I agreed with that and since it happened to be a Friday I went to my first Shabbat service later that night. Nervous and not knowing what to expect I sat towards the back a bit isolated until a family walked in and invited me to sit with them towards the center of the sanctuary.

After this warm embrace the rabbi and cantor both came up to me and welcomed me to the sanctuary. The service went on and despite it being my first service ever I enjoyed every minute of it and that night I went home and signed the membership paperwork. I continued to go to services weekly and always looked forward to my day of rest and celebrating the Shabbat. As the weeks went by I gained so much more than just a place to call my temple, I gained an extended family, a place I could feel safe to be myself, and a relationship with G-d. A little while later, I was driving in my car one day listening to Holy Holy Holy and I started crying because of the beautiful relationship I now had with G-d. I had found this after not knowing I needed this living as a secular Jew.

Since that time I have continued to go to services every week, joined the sisterhood as well as a variety of other groups. As I prepare for the Day of Atonement I participated in Tashlich last week with my community. This is a ceremonial casting of our sins into a body of water, I found the experience beautiful and cathartic in a sense, the wind was blowing in my hair and I felt a sense of calm and peace come over me. Although I made mistakes in the past I knew that I could learn from those experiences and become all that I was created to be. There is no doubt I will still continue to make mistakes as the times go on however I know that I can only learn and grown from these mistakes. As I prepare for Yom Kippur I purify my body to then help purify my soul from the sins of this past year and create a new beginning for myself. I will fast for 24 hours Friday evening/ Saturday from both food and water, abstain from anointing perfumes or washing the physical body to help purify the soul among other things. I am looking forward to my experience and it will help me realize all that I can and need to be. This journey of mine has been life changing however I would not trade it for anything in the world. I went from a person looking for something in my life to having everything I could ever want spiritually. I am so thankful for this experience of mine and enjoy growing in my community with my family and friends