Reflection

Who do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see a person that is beautiful? Or do you see a person who is not who you want to be? Unfortunately as women we tend to see all of our flaws instead of our beauty. I hardly ever wear makeup however so many girls feel the need to put on makeup to “hide” their flaws when in actuality the flaws they see, are seen as beautiful to others. As women we need to be perfect and look flawless in our everyday lives because we are expected to do so. If a woman goes out of the house in sweats, no makeup, and her hair up she is thought to not care about her appearance and can be labeled as lazy. On the flip side if guy does the same thing, they are considered sporty or about to workout.  This creates a world where women feel the need to be perfect and this can lead to obsessions about beauty and looking the best they possibly can.

I wish that more women and girls can see themselves for who they really are which is beautiful. We are each created in G-d’s image and G-d does not make mistakes. Despite a person’s build or facial structure, every person is beautiful in their own way. The trouble comes when we look at others and compare their beauty to our own. When we do this we strive to become someone we are not by attempting to become another person. An example in my own life is my curly hair, although I have learned to love it now when I was younger I hated it because most of the time it was frizzy and all over the place. I looked at girls with straight hair and envied their hair because I thought straight hair looked prettier than my curly hair. The funny thing was all of the girls with straight hair envied me for my curly hair! The bottom line is our reflections are often accompanied be self-doubts about our own beauty when in actuality each of us is beautiful in our own way. Every woman I encounter in my life is beautiful, including you who is reading this. We as women need to realize that we are all beautiful no matter what others say or what we think in our own minds while staring in a mirror.

 

 I want to challenge you my reader to see how beautiful you truly are, try to go without make up for a day, then try a week. Without the reliance of makeup you will see that you truly are beautiful and actually don’t need makeup! I am not against makeup I just really want to show you that you are naturally beautiful despite any doubts you may have. The next time you look at your reflection look past all of your insecurities and doubts about your appearance and instead see a person who is absolutely beautiful, and on this earth to fulfill a wonderful mission.     

 

Words Hurt

I am sure that everyone has heard they phrase “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. While the idea of this phrase is great to teach kids, realistically it is not a true statement in my opinion because when it comes down to it, words do hurt no matter how small. As a young adult I have learned about resilience and how to cope with life stressors. I realize that what others say about me may not be true and I don’t allow these negative comments to get to me,  however no matter what your resilience and coping level is, there is some degree of internalization that takes place even as adults. With kids however this is not really the case unfortunately. I am a real advocate for kids who are transitioning in middle school because this time is often the hardest time for any kid as it was for me. Middle school is the time where cliques start to form and in my experience kids start being cruel to one another. Statements that are made often are completely internalized and really hurt kids. “You are not pretty enough”, “You are not cool enough”, “You clothes are ugly”, these are only a few statements which are said not only in middle school but also in life in general that can hurt a person’s self-esteem and feelings. Think about this however, what if the little girl or boy that is getting bullied is having family trouble at home? What if the person is having trouble financially and they cannot afford the “cool clothes” and instead these clothes are all the family can afford?  What if questions are rampant because you really never know what someone is going through in life.

I feel like individuals assume that everyone is going through the same things in life when in actuality each person’s reality can be so extremely different than your reality. Often times you have no idea what is actually occurring. Especially with the internet today individuals can project to the world that their life is wonderful and everything is perfect when in actuality they are suffering silently and need a friend. Individuals can be coping with mental illness that no one talks about because our society adds such a social stigma to it that no one wants to admit they need help. You really never know what a person is really going through unless you are living their life and have “walked a mile in their shoes” so naturally we should watch what we say and try to be a kind to one another as much as we possibly can.

 

I would love to hear any thoughts on this topic and how you interpret the power of words.       

Friday’s Favorite F Word- Father

                In every girls life there lives a superhero whom she adores, this superhero is strong, handsome, and able to do anything. Who is this superhero you ask? Well, it is the little girl’s father. A father plays such an influential part of our lives. Some of my best memories were spent with my father. Our fathers are our first “love” and we absolutely adore doing things with them no matter how small they are. I can remember things I used to do as a kid that I loved to do with my father such as learning how to ride a bike, learning how to swim, being taken to ballet classes, going to Girls Scouts and having him help with art projects. There is really nothing that I did not do with my father.

As we all grow up we tend to take on the characteristics of our parents, for some people it can be a combination of the two for me however, I feel that my personality is so much more like my father and we share that bond together. He has given me so much more than I could have ever imagined and he has worked hard his whole life to help provide for me and to make me into the woman that I am today. He is truly an inspiration to me and I am so lucky to have a father who is as kind, thoughtful, and genuine as he is. I have been given such a great example of what father should be in my own life that I know the type of father I want my future husband to be to my kids when I am at that point in my life.

Another things that my father and I have in common is music, we both love listening and using it to get away express our emotions, one song that really speaks to my own father/daughter relationship is “Fathers and Daughters” by Kristin Chenoweth. This song is so beautiful that it brings me tears of joy each time I listen to it. It is in running for my father daughter dance when I get married in the future! Fathers truly are remarkable!

 

What are some of your favorite memories with your father? I would love to hear from you! Feel free to join the link up below to talk about your own father! I am so excited to be the co-host of Lauren’s Friday’s Favorite F word series! I know this week will be excellent and I am so excited to learn about all of the wonderful fathers out there.  

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Marriage- Is it More about the Wedding or the Joining of Two Souls as One?

I was recently thinking about marriage and weddings, I think every girl does from time to time especially since it is wedding season. The question that has always come to mind when I see someone getting married is what is more important to them, the wedding or the marriage. First of all I want to stress that there is NOTHING wrong with having a reception to celebrate your love whatsoever, the problem I see is when the actual wedding is more important than the marriage. A wedding lasts one day but a marriage last a life time, or at least it is supposed to, the divorce rate in this country is so sad and honestly it is pretty daunting that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Why then are so many people stressing so much about one day? I feel the problem lies in the fact that when an individual gets engaged they get caught up in the ring, the promise of forever, however after admiring the “shiny diamond” for a couple of months the sole focus is on getting THE perfect wedding, not to mention one that is better than everyone else.  This is clear on shows like “Four Weddings” where four brides critique each other’s weddings and more often it is nasty and they trash on everything about the wedding. The bottom line is everyone has different tastes and what another person likes does not mean you have to like it, but in no means does it mean that the wedding is not as good as the others. Other shows such as “Bridezilla” show the extremes of this and I try not to watch this because I am so ashamed over the behavior of these women.

I wish that in our society it would be more concerned about the actual marriage and not just getting the perfect wedding/reception. Like I said previously there is nothing wrong with having one but when it surpasses the purpose of marriage to join two souls as one I do have a problem with it. For me weddings should be about love, the celebration of two families as one, and the sacred promise to both your spouse and G-d to be with your husband or wife forever. I can only hope that more people realize that a wedding is just one day but marriage is a lifetime.    

 

 

 

 

Have you gotten married yet? If so did you focus on the wedding or the marriage that comes after it? When you got engaged were you more excited about the title of husband/wife or was it for the reception to celebrate your love?  I would love to hear from my lovely readers!

Mean Girls-Why Can’t We All Get Along?

Why are so many girls mean to one another? This question really baffles me but it is a question that constantly comes up in my life. I feel like the worst time for this is middle school. Why though? For me at least in elementary school I was friends with everyone and everyone was nice to one another, the minute I hit middle school everything had changed. Once middle school begins it seems like everyone forms cliques and you are defined by the type of clothes you wear or how far along you are in your physical development. What happens in that summer between 5^th grade to 6^th grade to cause this change? I know nothing changed for me but girls were meaner than they were in elementary school.

                The problem with this is girls are beating each other down emotionally and telling each other they are not good enough and this can define a girl’s perception of herself and her self-image. Middle school students range from 12-14 years old, this is a very impressionable time in a kid’s life. At this age kids are just starting to discover who they are and what type of person they want to be, however this is destroyed when girls are mean to one another. Today is even worse with developing technology and this bullying goes beyond the four walls of the classroom and literally follows a person home.  I actually wrote a blog about social media and how it is a danger to us if it is used incorrectly. As girls we have so many things to worry about so it seems strange that we would want to hurt another person and destroy their self-esteem. It is not only kids who do this, even in adult life this phenomenon is occurring. It is time to stop this and work together to make the world a better place that is free of bullying and intentional animosity to others. I hope that as the years go on girls and women can learn to work together and actually build each other up instead of being mean girls and hurting one another

                Have you ever been the victim of mean girls? Or were you a mean girl yourself? If you were a mean girl what was your driving factors. I would love to hear about any experiences!     

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My Own Worst Enemy

How many of you beat yourself up when something does not go your way in life? This self-betrayal could be anything from saying you are not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough and the list goes on. I am guilty of this self-betrayal, and with my perfectionist traits, I feel like I am my own worst enemy at times. During times that I am feeling really low, I tend to internalize things and define my worth based upon what is going on in my life whether it be grades in school or the lives of others. Peers all around me are getting married and having babies while I am constantly stressed in nursing school and constantly fighting to stay above water. The fact of the matter is though everyone is on a different life path and this is where I am on mine. The question I still have is why do I internalize events and define my worth on them? It is because I tend to be my own worst enemy.

The next question that comes to my mind is why I even do this. Without being selfish and self-centered we should be our own cheerleaders and cheer ourselves on as opposed to beating ourselves down, the reality however is a lot of people do tend to tear themselves down instead of building themselves up. In the world we live in today, more people unfortunately will try to beat you down so why would we want to do it to ourselves?  

Do you tend to build yourself up, or beat yourself up when something does not go like you wanted it to?

I absolutely adore Idina Menzel and her song, “My Own Worst Enemy” really speaks to me and actually inspired this post. Enjoy her beautiful voice below!

 

 

The Lazy Days of Summer Have Faded Away

Do you remember when you were a kid and summer came? It was perfect, days free of responsibility and full of swimming, treats from the ice cream truck and days of nonstop fun. Summer is coming soon and instead of carefree fun I will be working towards my nursing degree. In no way am I complaining because I want to enhance my studies, go further my education, and get one step closer to taking the NCLEX but I can’t help but yearn for those lazy summer days. So many wonderful things have occurred in summers past.  It is crazy how fast the years pass us by, I remember being a kid and I wanted nothing more but to grow up, here I am and now I miss so many things about being a kid. In no means would I like to go back but I wish I knew how important it was to cherish the memories of summer and realize how lucky I really was. The great thing is I have so many wonderful memories I can cherish now as an adult.

             Do you ever think about summers past? If so what is your favorite memory?   

Negative Energy is Oppression to the Soul

Have you ever been in a place where you could feel the energy around you? I know this may seem weird, but individuals do talk about feeling energy. In the past, I did not think you could “feel” energy around you, well that is until it happened to me. Let me backtrack though, I have always heard about feeling energy on ghost hunting shows where the clairvoyants mentioned that the spirits were either good or bad natured. Pretty much by the end of the show the home owner said they could feel all of the negative energy go away and the house was filled with light and love. Although I did not discount this I did not really believe that a person really could feel energy.

In the past I was living in a place that was not good for me and I did not know how oppressive the energy was until my lease ended and I moved into a new apartment. First of all the old place was dark but the funny thing is it was on one of the top floors of the building, the old place also had so many negative feelings attached to them such as anger, rejection, selfishness, and of course oppression. While I was living there although I did not know it then, but it literally was hurting my soul, I was not eating, I was barely sleeping and I was not myself. As soon as my lease ended I was out of there! I am NOT even kidding the minute I stepped into the new apartment I immediately felt joy, positivity, and love. It was also brighter in the new place. I became the person I always knew I was and the person I deep in my soul was meant to be, I was free of oppression as was able to embrace love.

Have you ever lived in a place where you felt this type of negative energy? What did you do to make it better? I would LOVE to hear from you my lovely readers!!   

  Each day try to find a place where you can let go of negative energy and be the best person you can be!   

 

Finding Peace in the Beauty of the World

I have less than 2 weeks left in the first half of my summer session for nursing school and I am in incredibly stressed! There is so much going on and at times I feel like I have no time to breathe. I have always found peace in G-d’s creations in nature so I wanted to share so of my favorite images that I have taken while in nursing school that give me peace and allow me to escape even if only for a minute to a place of calmness, peace, and serenity.  

 

I also like to meditate at times when I need to find inner peace. How do you alleviate your stress and find inner peace?

A Letter to an Angel in Heaven

I have never met you in this life however as I grow closer to him I am longing to meet you. I never knew you but I love you. I only know of you through memories, pictures, and beautiful gestures that are performed on your birthday and the anniversary. I am so connected to you yet I have never met you, I know some of your favorite songs and I am always told by your relatives that you would have loved me. It is so incredibly unfortunate that I was not able to meet you. His friends talk about how much they loved you and how much you were a mom to the whole neighborhood. I am growing to get to know your sisters and I really cherish those interactions. Although it is beyond my understanding, you are in heaven for a reason and at least I get to learn about you and all of the wonderful memories amongst the family.