What is Love?

The question often comes up, what is love? I have been in love  in the past, but sometimes it is difficult to describe. According to Webster’s dictionary it is an “unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”. We have multiple definitions of love but it is so hard for people to describe. I have multiple loves, my family, my little girl Lottie, and my love for G-d. Each one is slightly different however all are still love relationships.

            Love is wonderful and being in love is even better, the first couple months when you are in love with a new partner are full of constant butterflies and longing to be with your partner 24/7. This lasts maybe 6-9 months at most but then as you get comfortable with a relationship these feelings fade away and although you still love the person the relationship is different, it is more mature and at this time you truly get to know the other person. 

What I find so sad is some people define love based upon material things such as flowers, jewelry, candies, or anything else of that nature. I have seen countless posts of girls saying how much their boyfriends, husbands, or fiancés really love them because they got new jewelry, tons of their favorite candy bars and how these items make their relationships the perfect fairytales. There is no problem with a significant other providing their love with a gift however the problem comes when these items=love. Just because someone gives you something does not mean it is true love or the person loves you anymore than another person. This philosophy creates a society where girls value material items as their significant other loving them and those girls who do not get items like this feel less because they are not as “loved”. This is such a sad concept to think about because love should not be defined by gifts from someone. I think this is the case because it is so hard to define love in our society that we tend to attribute it to whatever society says it is so it falls to items equaling love.

 

 How do you define love in your life? Do you fall into the trap of defining it with material objects or do you see it more as I do? I would love to hear your responses.   

Friday’s Favorite F Word- Falter

In our lives there always seems to be times when we experience something that makes us stop for a second and falter. We are trapped in a sudden panic of what to do and we may fall down for an instance and remain on the floor for a little while we are stunned from the brick wall we just hit. This can occur for anything in life such as relationships, friendships, and school/ work performance. The question then, always seems to be, how we are supposed to get up without any help.

As children we are very prone to getting right back up when we are knocked down and showing how tough we are however, as we grow up we tend to fall into patterns of behavior where this is no longer the case specifically during adolescence and young adulthood. As young adults we often see falling down and faltering as a sign of weakness and failure in our lives. We often define ourselves based upon our failures and we often walk alone in our struggles and always seem to falter alone without the aid of others.

As a nursing student I falter thorough my journey to become a nurse, there are constant stressors and new learning experiences and sometimes I even become my own worst enemy! When I am experiencing this I turn to meditation and my faith.  Meditation is an amazing way to center yourself and feel peace with the world. In fact, on one of my medication CD’s, one of the guided imagery voices states, “When we pray we are talking to G-d, but when we are meditating we are listening to G-d. How fitting that I then both talk and listen to G-d in order to pick myself up when I have fallen due to a faltering experience. Meditation CD’s are phenomenal especially if lead by Deepak Chopra.

Prayer is also a very important part of my life, I pray by saying silent prayers directed from my heart to G-d when I am struggling as well as by listening to the prayers sung by Debbie Friedman. I love all of these prayers in general however two in particular help me in times of troubles and despair, they include: Mi Chamocha, Mi Shebeirach. Each one of these songs is part of the Shabbat service and each has a beautiful message. They are about freedom and healing all those that need healing of mind, body, and spirit. Each one of these prayers as well as many others holds a special part in my life and allows me to pick myself up after I falter from a difficult situation in my life.

If you would like to listen to these beautiful prayers I have provided the videos below.

                                                                   Mi Chamocha

 

                                                                    Mi Shebeirach

I am so excited to be once again co-hosting Friday’s Favorite F Words with the lovely Lauren. Be sure to check out her blog to see her opinion on the word. If you would also like to join this discussion feel free to join the link up by adding your link below.  
 

 

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Technological Transition or Nightmare?

In the past five/ten years there has been so much advancing technology that it is hard to remember all of the new gadgets and gizmos. There have been countless new products that have helped us as consumers. Don’t get me wrong I love the opportunity to meet wonderful women through the blogging community and the ability to talk to relatives on the other side of our country, however we often fail to see how technology is consuming our lives. This is a passionate topic that I have because technology is everywhere and our personal interactions are diminishing. I remember playing as a kid, I ran outside, rode my bike, and played with Legos and Hot Wheels. My mind was my playground. Nowadays kids are glued to IPads, IPhones, or other technological devices, and kids as young as 6 years of age have cell phones!! As a kid with no cell phones in existence, when it was time to go home the staff of the afterschool day care called my name over the loudspeaker and that indicated that it was time for me to go home and I then proceeded to my car.

Technology is great but it is sad to see the diminishing personal interactions in our society. Even times when I am out to dinner I try not to use my phone but if I do I quickly check something which normally gives an unconscious que for my friends to check their phones. This create a situation where the group ends up sitting at the table interacting with our phones instead of each other. I really don’t like that so we make a rule to try to reduce technology time while together in order to just focus on each member of the group.

Technology is everywhere now such as banks, grocery stores, gas stations, and even libraries. All of these places have convenient methods of obtaining money, groceries, gas and books. This raises many questions in my mind however such as: Where are the people? Where are our interactions with others? Personally I like interacting with others as opposed to machines. I can only wonder how the future will be with my kids. Will they grow up in a society where interacting with technology is the norm? I hope not but you never know what the future might hold!

What do you think of the increasing technology in our society? Do you like personal interactions or virtual interactions? 

 

 

 

 

“Nervous Girls” –Lucy Hale

I recently have been writing about topics such as the question of why mean girls exist, reflections of how we see ourselves, and being our own worst enemies. Over the weekend I bought Lucy Hale’s CD- Road Between and one powerful song spoke to my soul about all of the above topics. This song is truly a remarkable song called “Nervous Girls”. The song talks about the girl who doubts herself despite everyone else thinking she has everything, and it talks about the girl who thinks she is worthless because she compares herself to others and doubts the talents that she does have. There are other scenarios in the song such as a girl giving her heart up and getting heart broken, the practice of spreading rumors to hurt others, eating disorders, and broken wedding vows.  

The thing that really hits me, is in my own life I know of at least one girl that fits the above scenarios that occur in the song. I feel as girls we always think we can be better; we can be prettier, skinner, smarter and the list goes on. What our society defines as valuable is our appearance, so we assume that we have to be attractive in every instance when we are out in public. We feel we must be the skinniest so that guys will find us attractive. When we don’t have a guy in our lives we doubt ourselves and think something is wrong with us when in actuality nothing is wrong. I mentioned this in a previous post but at my age everyone around me is married, getting married or having babies. This creates a thought that girls that are my age and not married are not on track in their lives, when in reality we are all on different paths than one another. I really like this song because it truly does speak to the ideas that although we have different doubts and concerns about ourselves we are more similar that we think we are. We really need to stick together to build each other up.

 

                If you would like to listen to this beautiful song it is listed below. If you chose to listen to it really listen to the lyrics and think about them. I feel like every girl really can relate to the lyrics in some form or another. What do you think about the song? I think it is beautiful, let me know your opinions lovely readers

Reflection

Who do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see a person that is beautiful? Or do you see a person who is not who you want to be? Unfortunately as women we tend to see all of our flaws instead of our beauty. I hardly ever wear makeup however so many girls feel the need to put on makeup to “hide” their flaws when in actuality the flaws they see, are seen as beautiful to others. As women we need to be perfect and look flawless in our everyday lives because we are expected to do so. If a woman goes out of the house in sweats, no makeup, and her hair up she is thought to not care about her appearance and can be labeled as lazy. On the flip side if guy does the same thing, they are considered sporty or about to workout.  This creates a world where women feel the need to be perfect and this can lead to obsessions about beauty and looking the best they possibly can.

I wish that more women and girls can see themselves for who they really are which is beautiful. We are each created in G-d’s image and G-d does not make mistakes. Despite a person’s build or facial structure, every person is beautiful in their own way. The trouble comes when we look at others and compare their beauty to our own. When we do this we strive to become someone we are not by attempting to become another person. An example in my own life is my curly hair, although I have learned to love it now when I was younger I hated it because most of the time it was frizzy and all over the place. I looked at girls with straight hair and envied their hair because I thought straight hair looked prettier than my curly hair. The funny thing was all of the girls with straight hair envied me for my curly hair! The bottom line is our reflections are often accompanied be self-doubts about our own beauty when in actuality each of us is beautiful in our own way. Every woman I encounter in my life is beautiful, including you who is reading this. We as women need to realize that we are all beautiful no matter what others say or what we think in our own minds while staring in a mirror.

 

 I want to challenge you my reader to see how beautiful you truly are, try to go without make up for a day, then try a week. Without the reliance of makeup you will see that you truly are beautiful and actually don’t need makeup! I am not against makeup I just really want to show you that you are naturally beautiful despite any doubts you may have. The next time you look at your reflection look past all of your insecurities and doubts about your appearance and instead see a person who is absolutely beautiful, and on this earth to fulfill a wonderful mission.     

 

Words Hurt

I am sure that everyone has heard they phrase “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. While the idea of this phrase is great to teach kids, realistically it is not a true statement in my opinion because when it comes down to it, words do hurt no matter how small. As a young adult I have learned about resilience and how to cope with life stressors. I realize that what others say about me may not be true and I don’t allow these negative comments to get to me,  however no matter what your resilience and coping level is, there is some degree of internalization that takes place even as adults. With kids however this is not really the case unfortunately. I am a real advocate for kids who are transitioning in middle school because this time is often the hardest time for any kid as it was for me. Middle school is the time where cliques start to form and in my experience kids start being cruel to one another. Statements that are made often are completely internalized and really hurt kids. “You are not pretty enough”, “You are not cool enough”, “You clothes are ugly”, these are only a few statements which are said not only in middle school but also in life in general that can hurt a person’s self-esteem and feelings. Think about this however, what if the little girl or boy that is getting bullied is having family trouble at home? What if the person is having trouble financially and they cannot afford the “cool clothes” and instead these clothes are all the family can afford?  What if questions are rampant because you really never know what someone is going through in life.

I feel like individuals assume that everyone is going through the same things in life when in actuality each person’s reality can be so extremely different than your reality. Often times you have no idea what is actually occurring. Especially with the internet today individuals can project to the world that their life is wonderful and everything is perfect when in actuality they are suffering silently and need a friend. Individuals can be coping with mental illness that no one talks about because our society adds such a social stigma to it that no one wants to admit they need help. You really never know what a person is really going through unless you are living their life and have “walked a mile in their shoes” so naturally we should watch what we say and try to be a kind to one another as much as we possibly can.

 

I would love to hear any thoughts on this topic and how you interpret the power of words.       

Friday’s Favorite F Word- Father

                In every girls life there lives a superhero whom she adores, this superhero is strong, handsome, and able to do anything. Who is this superhero you ask? Well, it is the little girl’s father. A father plays such an influential part of our lives. Some of my best memories were spent with my father. Our fathers are our first “love” and we absolutely adore doing things with them no matter how small they are. I can remember things I used to do as a kid that I loved to do with my father such as learning how to ride a bike, learning how to swim, being taken to ballet classes, going to Girls Scouts and having him help with art projects. There is really nothing that I did not do with my father.

As we all grow up we tend to take on the characteristics of our parents, for some people it can be a combination of the two for me however, I feel that my personality is so much more like my father and we share that bond together. He has given me so much more than I could have ever imagined and he has worked hard his whole life to help provide for me and to make me into the woman that I am today. He is truly an inspiration to me and I am so lucky to have a father who is as kind, thoughtful, and genuine as he is. I have been given such a great example of what father should be in my own life that I know the type of father I want my future husband to be to my kids when I am at that point in my life.

Another things that my father and I have in common is music, we both love listening and using it to get away express our emotions, one song that really speaks to my own father/daughter relationship is “Fathers and Daughters” by Kristin Chenoweth. This song is so beautiful that it brings me tears of joy each time I listen to it. It is in running for my father daughter dance when I get married in the future! Fathers truly are remarkable!

 

What are some of your favorite memories with your father? I would love to hear from you! Feel free to join the link up below to talk about your own father! I am so excited to be the co-host of Lauren’s Friday’s Favorite F word series! I know this week will be excellent and I am so excited to learn about all of the wonderful fathers out there.  

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