Delayed Gratification

Love is an incredibly powerful force on this earth. It has the power to bring people or even nations together to enhance the world. It seems like everyone is looking for love but what happens when you find it? At first, when you meet someone new and you really like them, you may think you are in love but in reality it is lust. During this stage you want to be with the person 24/7 and you care about the person so much that often time’s people spend every spare minute thinking and communicating with that person. You are consumed with that person and all you want is to be with them. Heck even today people decide they want to get married to that person immediately and they think that the person they “love” is the best person for them and has absolutely no flaws. This unfortunately is far from the truth, as humans we all have faults and we are NOT perfect. This all-encompassing thoughts about the person we are dating is even worse with our first love. I remember my first love, it happened when I was in high school at a mere 15 years old and we dated for a while, back then I thought he was the perfect person for me and that I was going to marry him. Looking back on this, it is incredibly funny, how would I know who was right for me at 15 years old! I was a child and at the time and had no idea who I was. Even today as young adults a lot of people do not know who they are yet they are still getting married because it is the next “step” so to speak in their life. By no means do I mean any disrespect to people who get married young as that is their decision, however I personally feel you should get to know someone for a couple YEARS before you make that plunge. Ultimately it comes down to really getting to know that person on a deep level and delayed gratification.   

 

 A lot of individuals say marriage is a lot of work and I completely agree, however relationships are just as much work as marriages. Sure you are not trying to pay double bills or raising kids however they still require work. I think the problem is so many of us are trained from Disney movies that we will “meet our prince and live happily ever after”. What they fail to show is what happens after the marriage or after the courtship.

I wish that our society looked at dating much like it occurred during our parents time where a man courted a girl and they went on dates for a while, after a certain length of time which lasted from about 6-9 months the guy asked the girl if she would like to go steady and they then were a couple. Instead today, we meet someone and within one date we define the relationship and automatically become a boyfriend or girlfriend. What happened to really getting to know that person? What happened to growing yourself? What happened to delayed gratification? I honestly belief that we should try to get back to something remotely like this. If we don’t jump into relationships then we are less likely to get our hearts broken, more likely to legitimately get to know that person and discover if they are truly the right person for us. Ultimately it comes down to delaying our gratification in order to truly get to know ourselves and another human being.  

Heal The Sick- Why I Chose and Love the Nursing Profession

I cannot believe only a mere 9 months ago I began my journey to becoming a nurse. I am currently in my third semester and by far it is the hardest yet due to two days of four hour lectures, one day of 2 hour labs, and two days of 12 hours clinical. By the time it is Friday I am incredibly exhausted, but is it worth it? You bet! I was reflecting back on why I wanted to be a nurse and the bottom line was in order to help people and aid in their healing. I want to be that friendly face that is a joy for the patients’ to see, I want to help them in anything they need. Nursing is not just a science it also is an art, this is stressed so much in my school but it is so much than that, nursing is a calling and it truly is so beautiful.

Nurses do so many things and there are a variety of different kinds of nurses, I strive to be one that connects in a deep manner to my patients. I have done a variety of things in the past 9 months however each thing is still amazing no matter what it is. I have done stuff like started an IV passed meds, and given a shot however what really matters most to me is when I am really making a connection with my patients. Things a simple as changing an incontinent patient means a lot to me because I am making that connection.  Countless times I have been told that I was loved or I was an angel for doing this simple task because I showed that I really cared about the patient and cleaning them was not an inconvenience at all. I have seen death unfortunately, and soon I will be able to see the miracle of life as I transition to OB clinical in a couple weeks. These simple connections truly makes a difference and helps to feed my soul. I can only wonder  what the future will bring however I know if I continue with my current attitude I will only continue to grow. It took me awhile to get to this place, however now that I am here I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for me.

If G-d is Love Then Why Can’t We Love One Another?

                There are a variety of religions around the world and I have only been exposed to a few of them in my life however from what I have encountered so far all of them stress to love G-d and to be the best person that you can be by doing the right things in life.  My question then is if we love G-d with all of our hearts why can’t we love one another? Although each person may not observe the same religion as you, can’t we still accept one another and embrace each other’s differences? Instead of this occurring, feuds are started about who is right, who is just, and who is observing the “true” religion. This is not a new concept as this has been observed throughout history with religious wars. This was a time where people were killing one another in defense of their own beliefs. How can this be okay? Even today this continues on and not only physical killing but also spiritual killing occur as well.  Imagine the following scenario, you have believed in one thing your whole life and someone comes along and says that your beliefs are false and the G-d you love with all your heart is not the true G-d, and if you do not belief in their G-d then you are going to go to hell. This can spiritually kill a person because their beliefs are challenged and their whole being is challenged. Instead of doing this and hurting one another can’t we just accept that person as they are?

My next question that comes to mind is, are we really living a just life because it is the right thing to do or are we only doing it for the sole purpose of getting into heaven? I hope that people are doing so because it is the right thing to do and not the latter reason. Personally for me, my religion does not stress the afterlife, instead it does focus on our life on this earth and how we can be the best we can be by following G-d’s commandments and by performing mitzvot. I can only dream of a world where we truly accept one another and TRULY love each other no matter what differences are present. No matter what religion we are the bottom line is we are all human beings and we all deserve love and acceptance from one another.  

 

 

Dump Toxic People In Your Life

Have you ever had a “friend” who you always wanted to be like? Perhaps you actually used to be friends in the past however through different paths of life you grew apart. Your friendship was so important to you in the past that you would do whatever you could to preserve the friendship. In fact, what if you were so desperate to keep the friendship that you became a completely different person to try to get the attention or approval of this friend?  I am sure every one of us has had this experience and after an exhausting period of time you may have realized that these people do not care about you as much as you thought they did because they have moved on in their lives. These people are toxic to you because they only bring you down. Why would you want to deal with toxic people?

 If you chose to continue to try to seek approval from these people you will only hurt yourself. Feeding into these toxic people is like falling into a vat of quicksand. The faster you thrust around and struggle to become exactly like they want you to be the faster you sink. This is never a way that you want to live, living like this creates a trap where you are reliant on thse people to verify your own personal approval of your existence. Instead of being thrust into the quicksand stop, and look for a vine that goes over the quick sand as soon as you are on the other side cut the vine, you don't need these toxic people following you in your life. This  may seem harsh however once you cut toxic individuals out of your life you will be able to take care of yourself without relying on these toxic people to fill your own being.

I personally have struggled with this concept for years because in the past I have defined my worth based upon what others thought about me however this is not a way to live because I control my perception of myself and only I can define my life. I no longer allow toxic people to control my destiny. Would I ever let these individuals back into my life? Absolutely not because they do nothing to me that helps me enhance my positive growth to become all that I am meant to be. Do I have a grudge against these toxic people? Absolutely not because although I struggled with their approval for years they have taught me a valuable life lesson and I am thankful for it.

I advise if you have any toxic people in your life to cut them out just like I have cut the toxic people out of my life. It will only help you for the better and help you to become an even greater version than you already are!  

A song that explains exactly how I feel about my situation is “Catch My Breath” by Kelly Clarkson and her music video is below. I am so much better with the absence of the toxic people in my life. Have you gotten rid of your toxic individuals yet?

 

 

A Dream

I had a dream and you were there, you were healthy and happy and were incredibly happy to see me. I was amazed to see you because I thought I lost you forever. You walked like nothing was wrong with your legs and you had your amazingly contagious smile when you looked at me. You ran so fast from the downstairs kitchen table to my room and you were so happy, I could barely keep up with you. I kept on thinking that you were not real because you were not the same as I remembered you. I wanted to spend as much time possible as I could with you because I had no idea how long the joy of being with you would last. Then I woke up and you were gone, I was sad and downtrodden because you were no longer there with me and reality set in, I really have lost you however I hope that we can really be reunited again one day. Losing you was sudden and unexpected and I miss you every day, it has only been 8 month and it feels like we have been separated for years. I love you more than words can say and I hope you are having an amazing time playing with Shadow on Rainbow Bridge. I love you now and forever, always you will be in my heart my lovely baby Whitney. <3  

Nip Bad Memories in the Butt

How many of you can remember something from your past that was completely negative? I am sure anyone who is reading this has because we are all human and if someone has never experienced hurt, betrayal, or a broken heart then that is great however it is not realistic. In life we always have a variety of things that are going on and unfortunately the negative memories that we tend to focus on. I was pondering on this recently and I was wondering why this was the case. In my own life personally I have had a variety of things happen to me both positive and negative however all my life I have really vividly remembered the bad memories, detail for detail, such as the month, date, and time of day that the event occurred. I try to think about positive things however the details are not as vivid in my mind, I only have general thoughts of how these positive memories occurred. I believe that this is the case because when something bad happens to us, it hits us in our core and deeply effects our being and who we are.

I think this is absurd and I would rather remember all of the positive memories as opposed to negative ones and that is why I want to nip bad memories in the butt. I am in no way saying that bad memories should never be experienced and repressed because sometimes a great life lesson is learned from a bad memory. Simply if you have a bad memory try not to feed into it and try to remember the joyful memories in your life. Think about moments of joy, love, faith, or accomplishments and the joy that comes with these memories. I would much rather remember the joy of a baby’s birth, the enormous amount of love two people share at a wedding, a thankful prayer to G-d for all of the blessings in life, and the graduation of someone from school or (cough cough) nursing school! Each and every one of these memories are much better than negative ones and by trying to focus the positives of life you will feel so much better.

 

The Destruction Social Media Can Bring to Our Lives If Used Incorrectly

Our lives now are controlled by advancing technology and social media, instead of going to the bank we are using online banking, instead of sending birthday cards in the mail we are receiving text messages and Facebook comments. While I appreciate the advances in technologies in some aspects like immediate information about a topic while I am studying I can see the destructive side of social media as well.

In our society today people often define themselves and their worth based upon how many “friends”, “followers” or “likes” they have. Even worse the internet has become a place of bullying in addition to schools so the person who is being bullied has no escape and often performs extreme measures to stop the bullying hurting either themselves or others. This is extremely sad and I while I was growing up with the internet relativity new I even saw bullying occurring in passive aggressive manners on things such as AIM.

Our society now based a person’s worth based upon their popularity online and for those who do not have the popularity this lack of being “popular” can cause them to feel worthless and strive to have the lives that others have. This can cause individuals to become someone they are not and live a life that is not really theirs because they are trying to achieve perfection that is not really attainable. We now have extravagant marriage proposals on the internet, pregnancy announcements and posting about accomplishments which make others feel like they are not achieving anything in their lives. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying these things should not be posted if the person is generally wants to share them, however the problem is they are often posted ONLY to brag to others.

These levels of extravagance cause simple things to seem dull, for example with my parents their engagement story may seem dull in today’s standards although it is wonderful for them. They were looking at houses together and my dad asked my mom what she thought of the house they were looking at, she mentioned it was nice but she could not live there unless they were married and my dad said of course so do you want to get married and they were engaged and they went out to celebrate. There was no engagement ring and instead my mom got a house and then a very nice wedding band. Looking at this story it is wonderful however with comparisons to today’s standard people might roll their eyes at this because in the world of social media now it is all about how he asked and how big the ring is.      

I want to stress that social media can be what you make it so PLEASE try not to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others based upon what you see on their online profiles. Although something may seem perfect online it really is not. Also think about this if you have 1000 plus people that you are friends with online who can you really trust in an emergency? Who will come help you on the freeway with flat tire? (besides triple AAA ;) ) True friends really are a blessing so try not to let the perfection of the internet and other individuals successes get to you. Please don’t compare yourself to others on the internet because it will only bring you down. Each and every one of us is special in our own way and we each have our own path in life, don’t let other individual’s lives define how we should live our own.