Dump Toxic People In Your Life

Have you ever had a “friend” who you always wanted to be like? Perhaps you actually used to be friends in the past however through different paths of life you grew apart. Your friendship was so important to you in the past that you would do whatever you could to preserve the friendship. In fact, what if you were so desperate to keep the friendship that you became a completely different person to try to get the attention or approval of this friend?  I am sure every one of us has had this experience and after an exhausting period of time you may have realized that these people do not care about you as much as you thought they did because they have moved on in their lives. These people are toxic to you because they only bring you down. Why would you want to deal with toxic people?

 If you chose to continue to try to seek approval from these people you will only hurt yourself. Feeding into these toxic people is like falling into a vat of quicksand. The faster you thrust around and struggle to become exactly like they want you to be the faster you sink. This is never a way that you want to live, living like this creates a trap where you are reliant on thse people to verify your own personal approval of your existence. Instead of being thrust into the quicksand stop, and look for a vine that goes over the quick sand as soon as you are on the other side cut the vine, you don't need these toxic people following you in your life. This  may seem harsh however once you cut toxic individuals out of your life you will be able to take care of yourself without relying on these toxic people to fill your own being.

I personally have struggled with this concept for years because in the past I have defined my worth based upon what others thought about me however this is not a way to live because I control my perception of myself and only I can define my life. I no longer allow toxic people to control my destiny. Would I ever let these individuals back into my life? Absolutely not because they do nothing to me that helps me enhance my positive growth to become all that I am meant to be. Do I have a grudge against these toxic people? Absolutely not because although I struggled with their approval for years they have taught me a valuable life lesson and I am thankful for it.

I advise if you have any toxic people in your life to cut them out just like I have cut the toxic people out of my life. It will only help you for the better and help you to become an even greater version than you already are!  

A song that explains exactly how I feel about my situation is “Catch My Breath” by Kelly Clarkson and her music video is below. I am so much better with the absence of the toxic people in my life. Have you gotten rid of your toxic individuals yet?

 

 

A Dream

I had a dream and you were there, you were healthy and happy and were incredibly happy to see me. I was amazed to see you because I thought I lost you forever. You walked like nothing was wrong with your legs and you had your amazingly contagious smile when you looked at me. You ran so fast from the downstairs kitchen table to my room and you were so happy, I could barely keep up with you. I kept on thinking that you were not real because you were not the same as I remembered you. I wanted to spend as much time possible as I could with you because I had no idea how long the joy of being with you would last. Then I woke up and you were gone, I was sad and downtrodden because you were no longer there with me and reality set in, I really have lost you however I hope that we can really be reunited again one day. Losing you was sudden and unexpected and I miss you every day, it has only been 8 month and it feels like we have been separated for years. I love you more than words can say and I hope you are having an amazing time playing with Shadow on Rainbow Bridge. I love you now and forever, always you will be in my heart my lovely baby Whitney. <3  

Nip Bad Memories in the Butt

How many of you can remember something from your past that was completely negative? I am sure anyone who is reading this has because we are all human and if someone has never experienced hurt, betrayal, or a broken heart then that is great however it is not realistic. In life we always have a variety of things that are going on and unfortunately the negative memories that we tend to focus on. I was pondering on this recently and I was wondering why this was the case. In my own life personally I have had a variety of things happen to me both positive and negative however all my life I have really vividly remembered the bad memories, detail for detail, such as the month, date, and time of day that the event occurred. I try to think about positive things however the details are not as vivid in my mind, I only have general thoughts of how these positive memories occurred. I believe that this is the case because when something bad happens to us, it hits us in our core and deeply effects our being and who we are.

I think this is absurd and I would rather remember all of the positive memories as opposed to negative ones and that is why I want to nip bad memories in the butt. I am in no way saying that bad memories should never be experienced and repressed because sometimes a great life lesson is learned from a bad memory. Simply if you have a bad memory try not to feed into it and try to remember the joyful memories in your life. Think about moments of joy, love, faith, or accomplishments and the joy that comes with these memories. I would much rather remember the joy of a baby’s birth, the enormous amount of love two people share at a wedding, a thankful prayer to G-d for all of the blessings in life, and the graduation of someone from school or (cough cough) nursing school! Each and every one of these memories are much better than negative ones and by trying to focus the positives of life you will feel so much better.

 

The Destruction Social Media Can Bring to Our Lives If Used Incorrectly

Our lives now are controlled by advancing technology and social media, instead of going to the bank we are using online banking, instead of sending birthday cards in the mail we are receiving text messages and Facebook comments. While I appreciate the advances in technologies in some aspects like immediate information about a topic while I am studying I can see the destructive side of social media as well.

In our society today people often define themselves and their worth based upon how many “friends”, “followers” or “likes” they have. Even worse the internet has become a place of bullying in addition to schools so the person who is being bullied has no escape and often performs extreme measures to stop the bullying hurting either themselves or others. This is extremely sad and I while I was growing up with the internet relativity new I even saw bullying occurring in passive aggressive manners on things such as AIM.

Our society now based a person’s worth based upon their popularity online and for those who do not have the popularity this lack of being “popular” can cause them to feel worthless and strive to have the lives that others have. This can cause individuals to become someone they are not and live a life that is not really theirs because they are trying to achieve perfection that is not really attainable. We now have extravagant marriage proposals on the internet, pregnancy announcements and posting about accomplishments which make others feel like they are not achieving anything in their lives. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying these things should not be posted if the person is generally wants to share them, however the problem is they are often posted ONLY to brag to others.

These levels of extravagance cause simple things to seem dull, for example with my parents their engagement story may seem dull in today’s standards although it is wonderful for them. They were looking at houses together and my dad asked my mom what she thought of the house they were looking at, she mentioned it was nice but she could not live there unless they were married and my dad said of course so do you want to get married and they were engaged and they went out to celebrate. There was no engagement ring and instead my mom got a house and then a very nice wedding band. Looking at this story it is wonderful however with comparisons to today’s standard people might roll their eyes at this because in the world of social media now it is all about how he asked and how big the ring is.      

I want to stress that social media can be what you make it so PLEASE try not to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others based upon what you see on their online profiles. Although something may seem perfect online it really is not. Also think about this if you have 1000 plus people that you are friends with online who can you really trust in an emergency? Who will come help you on the freeway with flat tire? (besides triple AAA ;) ) True friends really are a blessing so try not to let the perfection of the internet and other individuals successes get to you. Please don’t compare yourself to others on the internet because it will only bring you down. Each and every one of us is special in our own way and we each have our own path in life, don’t let other individual’s lives define how we should live our own.   

 

 

 

 

Pay Positivity Forward

I am currently extremely stressed out amongst the final weeks of the second semester of nursing school. There are two weeks left and in those two weeks I have a total of 3 exams, 1 presentation, 1 quiz, 2 more clinical experiences and of course 3 finals. It is a lot in a two week period and it is easy to say I am extremely stressed. Today I went out to take a study break and I come to my car and see a nice big scratch on it. Upsetting of course however the thing that bothers me the most is not the scratch itself but what the scratch represents. It represents disrespect and a lack of concern for others. Anybody who deliberately intends to destroy another person’s property completely baffles me why is there such disrespect? Why would someone go out of their way to do harm? Despite this setback I did not let it get me and decided that my focus should still be on my studies and the next couple of weeks.

I decided to take myself to lunch and turn my negative experience to a positive one, before I went to lunch I stopped by a mattress store to test out some mattresses to update my 20 some year old one. The sales person that helped me out was phenomenal and I now have a better understanding what I want when I am ready to buy. I then went over to lunch at Islands and I was deep in my studies and my waiter was great as well. I then decided that I wanted to pay my positivity forward and left a pretty generous tip, and walking out of the restaurant I held the door open for an older couple. Although both these things were not significantly extreme it helps to make these individuals’ days a little bit brighter and happier and that is extremely important. Try each and every day to turn negatives into positives and pay the positivity and kindness to others no matter how small the task may be. Have a wonderful day lovely readers!

Five Quirky Things You May Not Know About Me

1)      I am a completely different person when a dog comes around:  

This is not even a joke! I can be seriously professional and as soon as a dog comes by me I turn in to a little kid. I get all giddy inside and I just want to pet it all day long. It is so ridiculous, the baby voice comes out and I say things like: “Oh how cute are you little one!” “How wonderful is that?”, “What do you think about that?”. All of these comments are spoken to my dogs or other dogs. 

 

 

2)      I am an avid “Bath and Body Works” product enthusiast:

I have a little problem when it comes to this store because I currently have a collection of 80 plus shower gels/lotion/soaps/room fragrances. My problem is the fact that I always “need” the newest fragrance. I love all of the new scents and I MUST have all of them. Thankfully I have not bought any more items in a couple of months, however whenever a new fragrance comes out then I have to control myself not to buy it! Some pictures of my collection are below!

Drawer 1

 

 

 

 

                                                                      Drawer 2
 

 

 

3)      I CANNONT stand my belly button being touched at all

This is a weird one however I can’t stand it. If I accidentally touch it I get a cold shiver and freak out.  If I am wearing clothes that have buttons that touch it I freak out. I have no idea why but it is like nails on a chalk board for me.

 

4)      I have a particular system when it comes to books in my bookshelf

 The books must be in order of size and height, the tallest go to the farthest left and then the shortest go towards the right. If I see a book that is out of place I must fix it immediately or else it will continue to bother me.

5)      I cannot stand peanut butter- Shocking!

I cannot eat peanut butter, I cannot smell peanut butter, hands down to me peanut butter is one of the grossest foods I have ever tasted. Funny thing is when I was younger I love it but now I can’t stand it. People are shocked when they hear it but it is the truth!

Leaping with Faith

Each and every day in life is a new adventure that allows for the continued growth to become better individuals than we were in the past. Each step we take further enables up to make a bigger step in the future and further enhances our being.  Recently I really have seen this to be the truth, I feel like I am walking along a river and want to cross however the only way I can involve a variety of stones on the river. God gives us opportunities that he knows we can handle and he allows us to build our being through tiny steps. As I mentioned in a previous blog post I have been terrified of singing in front of others due to my fear of judgment that others have of my voice. I personally can hear when singers are flat, sharp, or not really on the correct note so whenever I do this I cringe and delete any recording I have completing. In the past couple months I have been trying to change this and embrace my voice even if it is not perfect.

This leap to sharing my voice started with a jump into the river.  

Step 1: The first stone that I jumped on was a tiny one so tiny that I almost slipped and fell backwards. This stone involved me singing in my car in the middle of an Applebee’s parking lot. I was terrified however it was progress it can be viewed with the link below.  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152576911519829&l=2777560836482667449

Step 2: The next stone was a bit larger and not as slippery. During a day at my clinical rotation the patients’ were participating in karaoke. The patients’ were enjoying themselves and they expressed that they wanted one of the students to participate so I figured that I might as well go because “it’s now or never to get over my fears”. I got up and sang “You Drive Me Crazy” by Britany Spears. While I was singing everyone at the nurses’ station was “rocking out” and dancing to the song. After I was finished I was greeted by tons of applause and high fives.

Step 3: At the beginning of the month I was involved in Sisterhood Shabbat at my synagogue and the sisterhood was all going to sing “Miriam’s Song” by Debbie Friedman. I was a little early to service so the Cantor called me into the sanctuary to practice the song. I sang the whole thing by self in front of the members who were present at time standing up on the bimah. While I was singing one little girl of one of the members was dancing and singing along. When I was done with the song the little girl came up to me and said “Very pretty” and gave me a hug. In reaction the river this stone was medium size one and although I was nervous I was easily able to get my footing.

Step 4: I signed up to be a part of a show for Purim so right after my song on the bimah I received by part, I was Vashti and my song was “It’s a Hard Day’s Night” by the Beatles. The song was rewritten for Purim and the show happened to be on a Saturday. Before I was about to leave clinical for the day I told my instructor that I was nervous about the show and the song and she was excited about the “musical” aspect of it so she had me sing my song! I was so nervous but it did it and after I was done singing she mentioned that my voice was “strong and soulful”. This stone in the river I jumped on during this stage was on was very large and I was able to jump to it with no problem.

Step 5: Finally the night was upon me, it was the night of the show despite my nerves of making it to the last stone to get to the other side of the river I jumped and then this happened.

 

 

Throughout the past month God had been giving me little tasks to complete in order to show me that I could perform in front of a crowd and that I should share my talents with others. Don’t be afraid to share your talents with others because each and every one of us is blessed with a variety of talents that should be shared.