Is this the Correct Path for Me?

There are countless opportunities and paths that we can go through on a daily basis. Forks in the road where decisions need to be made. Daily life can be full of "what ifs" that can lead to completely different ways of life. 2015 has been full of what ifs for me and there are many paths that I could have chosen however for some reason or other, I either chose a different path, or the things I wanted to happen didn't work out. Life was full of opportunities, joy and heartbreak and these experiences influenced me to become the person I am today. I still have to wonder though how my life could have been if things have gone differently and had gone the way I expected them to be. I can only ask questions such as, would I be as happy? How would my other self be? How would life look right now from the other side of life?



Although I can always wonder what if, each and every event which may have seemed unfortunate or unfair at the time defined and shaped me into a better version of myself. I passed up amazing opportunities due to circumstances beyond my control however in the long run new opportunities came which I believe are so much better for me. I met people who were not great for me, however they allowed me to see what type of people I do want to associate with and what type of people I do want to accept into my life.

As I am about to enter into 2016 I am so much of a better version of myself and I am excited to learn how to become even better. Despite all the “what ifs”, and ways that my life could have been, I am extremely happy with every step even if they seemed hard at the time. I embrace all opportunities that come to me and look forward to the new year and the countless opportunities that will come. They may not be exactly what I had thought in 2015, however I am ready to see what 2016 will bring.     

Simple Blessings

What would you say are blessings in your life? Very often in our world today blessings are defined based upon our own personal success, material objects, and accomplishments. Especially in the United States, the hashtag #firstworldproblems is used to talk about “problems” such as a broken phone, an “uncool car”, or something as silly as not being able to login to social media. While I understand how some people consider these things to be “problems” I personally try to focus my energy on issues that are much larger than these such as how to create a world where more often than not everyone gets along and where we together to create the world a better place to be for everyone.

Recently I was thinking about blessings in my life and I realized how much we often take for granted that are truly blessings. This past week I was sick and due to a sinus infection, I developed an ear infection that left me unable to hear in one of my ears. As a person who enjoys music and learns songs through hearing them it was incredibly difficult for me to not be able to hear out one of my ears. When I did attempt to sing, it was crazy not being able to hear myself. Despite my frustration for this I realized how lucky I am that I normally do have the ability to hear and this hearing loss is just temporary and will be relieved. Our senses alone are amazing, however very rarely do we really stop to realize how blessed we are to experience them. Throughout my life I have lost my voice due to laryngitis, taste due to the common cold, and now recently my hearing due to a sinus infection. Although I could have taken time to mourn the loss of these at the time, I just felt more grateful that under normal circumstances I get blessed to have all of my senses working. This made me even more impressed with individuals who are going through life and who do not get to experience the beauty of all of the senses. One such individual, Andrea Bocelli, cannot see yet has a successful music career and one of the greatest voices of our time. Seeing individuals like this just make me more grateful and thankful for all of the blessings in my life.

The next time you are down, think about all of the blessings in your life that you may take for granted. Life isn’t about the greatest car, phone, or most successful job rather it is about appreciating every day and the beauty that comes with the day. Leaves falling, the sunshine on your skin during a spring day, or the gentle breeze of a summer day in addition to our senses are such blessings that often get taken for granted. I hope that you can find at least one thing to be grateful for on a daily basis, because it is the little things that really make a difference and enrich our lives.       

Be the Change That You Would Like to See in the World

     By the very nature of my blogs mission statement located above it is apparent that my goal is to help others no matter how small the task is. I try to accomplish this on a daily basis by doing small things such as holding the door open for others, helping out someone pick up something they have dropped, or simply trying to brighten up someone’s day. No matter the task I enjoy doing it because seeing others happy makes me happy to have positively influenced their lives.  If you are a “follower” of my blog, many of you may remember that a couple months ago, I lost an amazing job opportunity due to circumstances that were out of my control. I wrote about it here and at the time I did not understand why it occurred however so much more came from this loss.

      I have always wanted to “make my mark” somehow in our world, don’t get me wrong this does not include fame and fortune but just somehow touching the lives of others. I recently discovered that I have made a small mark by changing a state policy which now allows individuals a smoother transition when seeking licensure in this particular state. If you told me five years ago I would have changed a state policy I would have told you that you were crazy, however this is my reality. Although I was not personally able to start a job in this state, I now know that others in my position have an easier time when they seek licensure and have jobs on the line. My story just goes to show you have no idea what kind of an impact that you can make on the world. If you see something you would like to change feel free to try to do something to change it to be even better than it already is. With this small change I can only imagine what I can accomplish in the future but I am excited to find out! No matter how small something may seem it can make a lasting impact on our world and lives as we know it.

One song that personifies my values of helping and making a lasting and positive mark on our world is  “I Was Here” sung by Kristin Chenoweth. I hope you enjoy the song.

 

A Ray of Sunshine Among the Clouds

Very recently in sunny California, we have experienced quite a few weeks where the weather was overcast and pretty gloomy.  While I would be driving I would notice all of gloomy clouds which seemed to be a constant for quite a couple weeks. During one week however I noticed a small ray of sunshine peaking throughout the clouds which was beautiful and I got a feeling that it was symbolic of something, but I didn’t know quite what it was yet. Each and every day at about the same time I saw this beautiful ray of sunshine peeking through the clouds and continued to question what it meant. Then one day I discovered the meaning for it and it only enhanced the beauty even more, in fact, after I realized what this symbolized the next time I was driving there were about ten rays of sunshine poking out from the clouds and it was even more beautiful than before.  This somewhat vague story just goes to show you that no matter what is happening in your life you will persevere and make it through. Whether it is looking for a job, a partner, or just making new friends you never know what G-d has in store for you. Things may not work out as you wished they would have, however you never know what is just around the corner which is even greater than what you had previously imagined to have in your life.    

Timing….Why Can’t This Work Now?

Did you ever want something so much and it just didn’t work out? The past couple months has been a whirlwind of stress, I can honestly say I have been on a never ending roller coaster full of highs, lows,  multiples joy, as well as heartbreak. I received a call from a certain hospital and they offered me a job! Ever since I received the job offer I was on a mission to start my new life, I planned out this life and made it my mission to achieve this goal and to work at this dream facility. Since the time of the job offer, I created a plan and studied nonstop for 2 months, my test date came and I passed in 75 questions…something I never thought I was going to do. Ever since I passed I thought that the life I planned was going to actually happen! I celebrated, went to the place I would then reside in, paid money, and then two days later I got another call from the board… a technicality was going to prevent me from starting this new life. I was devastated the life that I planned and aspired to have two months earlier just crumbled as if a wrecking ball slammed into a building. After my initial shock and devastation I was angry because I was perfectly qualified however this technicality would prevent me from starting my new life. As the weeks went by it slowly got easier however it still hurts and I still question why this occurred. I was so close, and at the last minute plans changed, I still do not understand why this occurred but it has. In this situation timing is everything, I had to get everything done by a certain time so due to this deadline I made it my goal to pass my boards and start working at this facility, as I mentioned above I studied nonstop for two months, I passed my boards with the minimum amount of questions and did all that I could in my power to complete everything on time. The only thing that prevented me from attaining my goal was timing. This led me to question why this timing was not on my side, I may not know this now or ever understand why it didn’t work out for me now but I know it will eventually work out for me.

Although this sound like a sad story it has allowed me to gain so much including:

1) It allowed me to understand that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be

2) It allowed me to see that I should not doubt my abilities or question my intelligence

3) It allowed me to develop new friendship and gain family I never knew I had

 

Overall although it is one of the hardest losses I have ever had to experience it showed me that despite my desire to be in control I have to learn to let go and allow myself to follow G-ds timing in everything. I may never know why this did not work out from me now because it is not the right time, my time will come although I will not know exactly when this is. Perhaps it is in 3 months, perhaps it is in 6 months or even a year from now. When it is the right time, everything will work out. Timing is everything and I will become all that I want to be I just may need to wait for awhile.

Was there ever a time where the timing was not ideal and you lost something? I would love to hear your stories!!  

I am NOT the Person I Was a Year Ago

I have not blogged for a while partially because I have been busy finishing nurse school and because I have not had a lot to say in the past couple of months.

                Life is a little crazy  at the movement as I make the transition from student nurse to registered nurse. The fact of the matter is I am not the person I was when I started nursing school, I have grown and evolved and have become a better version of myself. I have no idea where I will be a year from now, however I do know that I am going to be exactly where I need to be according to what is right for me. I am currently preparing for the NCLEX exam while also researching and preparing for new graduate nursing programs. It is such an exciting yet overwhelming task that I am currently undertaking. I have no idea where life will take me in this next year however I know that with hard work, determination, and faith in the process will allow me to get wherever I need to be. In the past year I have become the best version of myself that I could be, I have made amazing lifelong friends who I absolutely love and adore, and I have accomplished more goals that I ever thought possible. I did not get these things by simply wishing for them but I had faith in myself and my abilities and worked extremely hard. Believe in yourself because you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

Life is not always perfect, you will struggle and will have times where you think that you cannot go on however you must always have faith in yourself and with a combination of faith and hard work you can accomplish what you want to. Looking back I had a really hard time specifically in 2012 where I lost my faith and began to doubt myself. If I could only go back and tell the person that I was then that everything was going to work out beautifully. It is now my time to leap and land in the place that is best for me, although I do not know where that is at this point. What I do know is wherever I end up it is meant to be and through these experiences I will continue to grow and become and even better version of myself than I already am. Even if you are struggling and feeling as if you cannot accomplish anything don’t give up because you CAN accomplish what you set your mind to!

 

                                       The start of the nursing program in August 2013

                                              The pinning ceremony with my family!

 

Discovering Who I Was Meant to Be

As I prepare my mind, body and soul for the holiest day of the Jewish calendar I can’t help but look back on the year that has been and reflect on the year that is to come. There have been so many things that have occurred to me in the past year, some of them were amazing and life changing while others I would rather not talk about or even think about. At the beginning of the secular year I was searching for something and I had no idea what it was until one day I was driving by TBI. I had no idea what made me stop however I immediately pulled in the parking lot and sought information about membership. Growing up secularly I never experience the blessing of belonging to a temple and I had no idea how simply walking into the synagogue that one day would change my life forever. I was told before I join I should check out a couple services first, I agreed with that and since it happened to be a Friday I went to my first Shabbat service later that night. Nervous and not knowing what to expect I sat towards the back a bit isolated until a family walked in and invited me to sit with them towards the center of the sanctuary.

After this warm embrace the rabbi and cantor both came up to me and welcomed me to the sanctuary. The service went on and despite it being my first service ever I enjoyed every minute of it and that night I went home and signed the membership paperwork. I continued to go to services weekly and always looked forward to my day of rest and celebrating the Shabbat. As the weeks went by I gained so much more than just a place to call my temple, I gained an extended family, a place I could feel safe to be myself, and a relationship with G-d. A little while later, I was driving in my car one day listening to Holy Holy Holy and I started crying because of the beautiful relationship I now had with G-d. I had found this after not knowing I needed this living as a secular Jew.

Since that time I have continued to go to services every week, joined the sisterhood as well as a variety of other groups. As I prepare for the Day of Atonement I participated in Tashlich last week with my community. This is a ceremonial casting of our sins into a body of water, I found the experience beautiful and cathartic in a sense, the wind was blowing in my hair and I felt a sense of calm and peace come over me. Although I made mistakes in the past I knew that I could learn from those experiences and become all that I was created to be. There is no doubt I will still continue to make mistakes as the times go on however I know that I can only learn and grown from these mistakes. As I prepare for Yom Kippur I purify my body to then help purify my soul from the sins of this past year and create a new beginning for myself. I will fast for 24 hours Friday evening/ Saturday from both food and water, abstain from anointing perfumes or washing the physical body to help purify the soul among other things. I am looking forward to my experience and it will help me realize all that I can and need to be. This journey of mine has been life changing however I would not trade it for anything in the world. I went from a person looking for something in my life to having everything I could ever want spiritually. I am so thankful for this experience of mine and enjoy growing in my community with my family and friends