Marriage- Is it More about the Wedding or the Joining of Two Souls as One?

I was recently thinking about marriage and weddings, I think every girl does from time to time especially since it is wedding season. The question that has always come to mind when I see someone getting married is what is more important to them, the wedding or the marriage. First of all I want to stress that there is NOTHING wrong with having a reception to celebrate your love whatsoever, the problem I see is when the actual wedding is more important than the marriage. A wedding lasts one day but a marriage last a life time, or at least it is supposed to, the divorce rate in this country is so sad and honestly it is pretty daunting that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Why then are so many people stressing so much about one day? I feel the problem lies in the fact that when an individual gets engaged they get caught up in the ring, the promise of forever, however after admiring the “shiny diamond” for a couple of months the sole focus is on getting THE perfect wedding, not to mention one that is better than everyone else.  This is clear on shows like “Four Weddings” where four brides critique each other’s weddings and more often it is nasty and they trash on everything about the wedding. The bottom line is everyone has different tastes and what another person likes does not mean you have to like it, but in no means does it mean that the wedding is not as good as the others. Other shows such as “Bridezilla” show the extremes of this and I try not to watch this because I am so ashamed over the behavior of these women.

I wish that in our society it would be more concerned about the actual marriage and not just getting the perfect wedding/reception. Like I said previously there is nothing wrong with having one but when it surpasses the purpose of marriage to join two souls as one I do have a problem with it. For me weddings should be about love, the celebration of two families as one, and the sacred promise to both your spouse and G-d to be with your husband or wife forever. I can only hope that more people realize that a wedding is just one day but marriage is a lifetime.    

 

 

 

 

Have you gotten married yet? If so did you focus on the wedding or the marriage that comes after it? When you got engaged were you more excited about the title of husband/wife or was it for the reception to celebrate your love?  I would love to hear from my lovely readers!

Mean Girls-Why Can’t We All Get Along?

Why are so many girls mean to one another? This question really baffles me but it is a question that constantly comes up in my life. I feel like the worst time for this is middle school. Why though? For me at least in elementary school I was friends with everyone and everyone was nice to one another, the minute I hit middle school everything had changed. Once middle school begins it seems like everyone forms cliques and you are defined by the type of clothes you wear or how far along you are in your physical development. What happens in that summer between 5^th grade to 6^th grade to cause this change? I know nothing changed for me but girls were meaner than they were in elementary school.

                The problem with this is girls are beating each other down emotionally and telling each other they are not good enough and this can define a girl’s perception of herself and her self-image. Middle school students range from 12-14 years old, this is a very impressionable time in a kid’s life. At this age kids are just starting to discover who they are and what type of person they want to be, however this is destroyed when girls are mean to one another. Today is even worse with developing technology and this bullying goes beyond the four walls of the classroom and literally follows a person home.  I actually wrote a blog about social media and how it is a danger to us if it is used incorrectly. As girls we have so many things to worry about so it seems strange that we would want to hurt another person and destroy their self-esteem. It is not only kids who do this, even in adult life this phenomenon is occurring. It is time to stop this and work together to make the world a better place that is free of bullying and intentional animosity to others. I hope that as the years go on girls and women can learn to work together and actually build each other up instead of being mean girls and hurting one another

                Have you ever been the victim of mean girls? Or were you a mean girl yourself? If you were a mean girl what was your driving factors. I would love to hear about any experiences!     

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My Own Worst Enemy

How many of you beat yourself up when something does not go your way in life? This self-betrayal could be anything from saying you are not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough and the list goes on. I am guilty of this self-betrayal, and with my perfectionist traits, I feel like I am my own worst enemy at times. During times that I am feeling really low, I tend to internalize things and define my worth based upon what is going on in my life whether it be grades in school or the lives of others. Peers all around me are getting married and having babies while I am constantly stressed in nursing school and constantly fighting to stay above water. The fact of the matter is though everyone is on a different life path and this is where I am on mine. The question I still have is why do I internalize events and define my worth on them? It is because I tend to be my own worst enemy.

The next question that comes to my mind is why I even do this. Without being selfish and self-centered we should be our own cheerleaders and cheer ourselves on as opposed to beating ourselves down, the reality however is a lot of people do tend to tear themselves down instead of building themselves up. In the world we live in today, more people unfortunately will try to beat you down so why would we want to do it to ourselves?  

Do you tend to build yourself up, or beat yourself up when something does not go like you wanted it to?

I absolutely adore Idina Menzel and her song, “My Own Worst Enemy” really speaks to me and actually inspired this post. Enjoy her beautiful voice below!

 

 

The Lazy Days of Summer Have Faded Away

Do you remember when you were a kid and summer came? It was perfect, days free of responsibility and full of swimming, treats from the ice cream truck and days of nonstop fun. Summer is coming soon and instead of carefree fun I will be working towards my nursing degree. In no way am I complaining because I want to enhance my studies, go further my education, and get one step closer to taking the NCLEX but I can’t help but yearn for those lazy summer days. So many wonderful things have occurred in summers past.  It is crazy how fast the years pass us by, I remember being a kid and I wanted nothing more but to grow up, here I am and now I miss so many things about being a kid. In no means would I like to go back but I wish I knew how important it was to cherish the memories of summer and realize how lucky I really was. The great thing is I have so many wonderful memories I can cherish now as an adult.

             Do you ever think about summers past? If so what is your favorite memory?   

Negative Energy is Oppression to the Soul

Have you ever been in a place where you could feel the energy around you? I know this may seem weird, but individuals do talk about feeling energy. In the past, I did not think you could “feel” energy around you, well that is until it happened to me. Let me backtrack though, I have always heard about feeling energy on ghost hunting shows where the clairvoyants mentioned that the spirits were either good or bad natured. Pretty much by the end of the show the home owner said they could feel all of the negative energy go away and the house was filled with light and love. Although I did not discount this I did not really believe that a person really could feel energy.

In the past I was living in a place that was not good for me and I did not know how oppressive the energy was until my lease ended and I moved into a new apartment. First of all the old place was dark but the funny thing is it was on one of the top floors of the building, the old place also had so many negative feelings attached to them such as anger, rejection, selfishness, and of course oppression. While I was living there although I did not know it then, but it literally was hurting my soul, I was not eating, I was barely sleeping and I was not myself. As soon as my lease ended I was out of there! I am NOT even kidding the minute I stepped into the new apartment I immediately felt joy, positivity, and love. It was also brighter in the new place. I became the person I always knew I was and the person I deep in my soul was meant to be, I was free of oppression as was able to embrace love.

Have you ever lived in a place where you felt this type of negative energy? What did you do to make it better? I would LOVE to hear from you my lovely readers!!   

  Each day try to find a place where you can let go of negative energy and be the best person you can be!   

 

Finding Peace in the Beauty of the World

I have less than 2 weeks left in the first half of my summer session for nursing school and I am in incredibly stressed! There is so much going on and at times I feel like I have no time to breathe. I have always found peace in G-d’s creations in nature so I wanted to share so of my favorite images that I have taken while in nursing school that give me peace and allow me to escape even if only for a minute to a place of calmness, peace, and serenity.  

 

I also like to meditate at times when I need to find inner peace. How do you alleviate your stress and find inner peace?

A Letter to an Angel in Heaven

I have never met you in this life however as I grow closer to him I am longing to meet you. I never knew you but I love you. I only know of you through memories, pictures, and beautiful gestures that are performed on your birthday and the anniversary. I am so connected to you yet I have never met you, I know some of your favorite songs and I am always told by your relatives that you would have loved me. It is so incredibly unfortunate that I was not able to meet you. His friends talk about how much they loved you and how much you were a mom to the whole neighborhood. I am growing to get to know your sisters and I really cherish those interactions. Although it is beyond my understanding, you are in heaven for a reason and at least I get to learn about you and all of the wonderful memories amongst the family.