Quitting Social Media- A Personal Story

Think about your childhood, life was so carefree and everyday was an adventure. Besides the occasional test or two at school everything was wonderful and the world was your playground. Life was so incredibly simple yet a simple place such as a backyard could transform to a whole new world.  At one point in time my backyard was the jungle and I trekked between the trees in search of treasure buried in the deep forest. My front yard was a bicycle yard and my siblings and I rode up and down the mountains which in realty was the slope of my street as well as my neighbors’ driveways. The front yard also was a baseball diamond allowing my siblings and I to hit home runs and play baseball on the front yard. The pool was the greatest place to be and my siblings and I would swim in the deep ocean being very careful to not awaken the great and mighty shark who lived in the deep end of the pools abyss. Fast forward to where we are now and instead of being driven by our imaginations and the world of make believe we are driven by the fake world of social media. It is incredibly sad that instead of children growing and learning through their senses like I did they are glued to an Ipad or some sort of device electronic device.

While I love the fact that the internet brings me quick information when it comes to schooling it has created an environment where as I mentioned in another post we are only on it to show “how great our lives are” when actuality people are struggling on a daily basis with their own self-esteem and stress of life. It is a false reality which constantly causes us to compare ourselves to others. This can cause a situation where people are subconsciously competing with one another and the competing can be deadly emotionally if we are not in that stage of life.  Things which are meant to be enjoyed in the moment are now done on a daily basis. While a simple food photo never hurt anyone 20 years ago we didn’t take pictures of our food, we simple ate it. This then begs the question why should we be sharing aspects our what we do in our daily lives? Where has our sense of privacy gone? We live in a world were we constantly want to be seen and want to feel important so perhaps this is why we share aspects of our daily lives but at the end of the day while people may like these posts they may not actually care. Maybe that is just my opinion personally but after a hard day at work all I care about is my family and not what one of my friends ate for lunch. I don’t mean for this post to offend anyone and I apologize if it does but I am simple trying to prove the point that it should not be overtaking and controlling our lives. We live in a society which is addicted to social media.

I honestly am one of those people who did compare themselves to others and have done so in the past. Social media was something which was a constant which I thought was cool to connect with others but actually became an addition and actually made me feel worse about myself although I have a lot going for me in my life. With that being said I make a conscious decision to get rid social media of it to live a more meaningful life. I now live more in the moment, connect more with family and friends, as well as to get back into the things I love which allow me to use my imagination. About two weeks ago I cold turkey quit social media and have not been on since.  While I have not deleted my accounts completely I have not gone on and don’t have the desire to do so.  I am trying to work on myself and what brings me joy in life and the elimination of social media has helped that tremendously. I am more at peace with myself and am finding more joy in everyday experiences. The next time you are thinking about going on a social media site think to yourself if you really need to do it or if you can find joy in the day without the need to find it in the social media 

How do you Become the Person you've Forgotten you Ever Were?

How do you become the person you’ve forgotten you ever were?

This is a line from the Broadway play Anastasia and recently resonated with me. As an artistic person at nature, I find a lot of inspiration from art, nature, and plays including musicals so naturally this line struck a cord in me. As children we are fun, optimistic, and the world is our playground, however that fun and optimism begins to fade away we realize that we cannot simply glide through life with no worries at all. As we grow we have constant growing responsibilities which continue to grow in complexity as we age. Things that we thought were a big deal as children or even as teenagers do not seem to be a problem in adulthood and we do not even bat an eye at them. Yet as we age these responsibilities mean a lot more and our very livelihood can become compromised if we do not meet these demands. Mortgages, bills, insurances, living expenses, and providing for children and your family can often become the driving forces behind the work that you do. In addition to this social media creates a world which allows individual to compare themselves to others and this can lead to depression and feelings of failure at the own accomplishments you have made.

How them do we disconnect from this and attempt to be like that carefree child we once were? I am currently working on this, however find myself struggling at times. I would like to get back to that child who was constantly happy and extremely carefree, in fact my uncle called me Sonny because I was always smiling and found the beauty in everyday. I would have fun at softball tournaments and always was playing and pretending very often playing make believe at these tournaments with my brother. The softball tournaments became a different world and we would save the world from monsters or compete to see who could run faster to the snack bar. When I was a child at school  I foolishly buried a leaf at my elementary school  with my best friend with the hopes that I would dig it up years later and would find “my leaf” as part of my very own time capsule. While all of these things are slightly silly it was who I was and I would like to get back to that happy and carefree child I once was. As adults it is hard to be carefree with all of our responsibilities. However, we should make an effort to become more carefree in our lives in some form or another. Don’t get me wrong as as extremely hard working person I am not going to throw my responsibilities to the side, however I am going to try to find at least one thing in my daily life I can do which brings me joy and allows me to be like that carefree child I once was.

Have you lost the person you once were? If so I would like to hear from you and would love to hear your experiences about what you did and/or how you plan to overcome it.

Connect Back to Reality

Do you frequent social media sites? If so how long do you spend on these sites? Are you more fully engaged into the social media world or living in the present moment? While the intent of these sites is to allow us to connect to those in distant places and share aspects of our own lives they become a crutch and we become addicted to them. Each and everyday I see individuals buried in their phones ignoring family and friends everywhere because what is on their phones is “more important.” We are so adamant about being on our phones that we have forgotten how to interact with others face to face.

        When I was a kid the phone was only found in the home and cameras still had film that you had to take to the store and develop. I remember always wanting to go with my mom to pick up the pictures because I would wonder what the pictures would look like and the element of surprise was very exciting. Now we live in a world where we constantly take multiple pictures to “get our best shot”, and use filters which edits our every flaw. Our lives have gone from private and shared with our family and closest friends to extremely public to the point that anyone can complete a search on another individual and discover a variety of information. With a simple phone number and name, you can find out a large amount of information about another person you have never met.  While the intent of social media as mentioned is to connect us it actually is disconnecting us. Social media is also creating a society that is addicted to the validation that posts bring to them. Very often instead of posting something to share a memory individuals are posting on these platforms for the sole purpose to obtain likes, comments, and the positive validation that these bring. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with sharing a memory however a problem exists when posts are for the sole purpose of validation. Ten years ago when social media sites were just in their earliest form no one would think to share photos of their daily lives or meals however this is a reality and a constant in our daily lives.

In addition to the problem of validation for the individual who is posting, a problem also exists for the individual on the other side of the screen. While it is a common knowledge that posts are a false reality of an individual’s actual life, this illusion of a perfect reality creates a world were individuals compare themselves to others and judge their own self-worth based upon others successes. Comparison can create a negative sense of self- esteem, and feelings of failure in life that a person in not at the point in life that they are supposed to be at based upon where others are in their lives. Countless study have found a correlation between comparison that individuals make between others and themselves on social media sites. A study by Primack et al. (2017) found that there was linear associations between the number of social media platforms that were used and both anxiety and depression. Furthermore, for individuals who had more social media platforms specifically seven to eleven this odd increased.  It is interesting that something which was meant to connect us would actually be contributing negatively to our mental health.

Do likes really matter? See the beauty in each and everyday.

Something needs to be done about this problem about oversharing for validation and comparison from the viewer.  While we will never go back to the time before social media existed I wish we could do something like it. At this point in time all that can be done is a social media detox and time dedicated to actual interactions between friends and family. At the end of the day the question can be posed, what is more important millions of likes and friends on social media or lasting meaningful connections with others in real life?

 Please enjoy this classic song by Simon and Garfunkel which highlights the problem we face today.

Reference

Primack, B.A., Shensa, A., Escobar-Viera, C,G., Barrett, E.L., Sidani, J.E., Colditz, J.B., James, E. (2017). Use of multiple social media platforms and symptoms of depression and anxiety: A nationally-representative study among U.S. young adults. Computers in Human Behavior, 69, 1-9.