Playing "The Game of Life"

Have you played "The Game of Life" when you were younger?  I know I have multiple times, both as a board game and as a computer game, it is a really fun game however hidden in the game is a concept that there are set times that things should occur. This concept is really personified in the computer version because the voice in the audio track constantly says Stop then some sort of life event. These include STOP-College graduation, STOP-Get a job, STOP- Get Married, STOP- buy a house, and finally STOP- have a baby. When playing this game as a kid I was constantly ready to get to these STOP locations because I wanted to advance in my future of the game. I remember that I would get upset if someone got to a STOP point before me. Fast-forward years later and between the game and society this linear pattern of time and accomplishments has be implanted into my brain and at times I feel less than I am when somebody else makes it to a STOP point before me.

While I was at UCLA I took an education class where the professor challenged this linear concept of time. He taught us that we don’t have to follow a set path that is laid out for us by society and what we think in correct in our mind. If we do follow it, then it will end up in heartbreak when we don’t reach a certain goal in the time we thought we would. An example of this can be seen by my age and the next step in my life which would be getting a job/marriage based upon the linear pattern of time. My mom got married when she was 24 years old and this year I am turning 24, if I define my life accomplishments based upon the linear concept then I am behind in my life plans compared to how my mom was. Looking back at my mom’s life she and my father had enough money to afford a house and already had stable jobs. For me personally right now I am in the middle of nursing school so my life is dedicated to studying and I have no time for a job to make some extra money. Additionally when looking at marriage right now, although I would love to be married, I can’t because I personally am not in a place to be married, unlike my mom at 24, I cannot afford to purchase a house. Do I define my success in life based upon the fact that I am not married and currently have no job? If you follow the linear pattern of life then yes because I am not in the place my peers’ are/mom was.

I am not going to lie, I used to follow the linear pattern but a couple years ago I realized that this pattern of thinking is only detrimental and absolutely absurd. There are no set times when we accomplish tasks, if my best friend gets married before me it does not mean that I am less than her. I really want to stress the concept that your life is yours and you only live once. If you go around defining your success based upon where you are in “the game of life” compared to others you will never feel accomplished. Rather going down this destructive road make a list of things you would like to accomplish in the next 10 years with absolutely no deadline. By doing this you are making a goal list rather than a timeline. You are the person who controls your life not others, embrace each day not as a race to get to a certain goal but rather a blessing that has an infinite amount of possibilities

Imperfections

Do you always feel the need to be perfect in your life? The need to succeed and be the best at everything you set your mind to? I know I have had this trait for a long time in my life, however recently I realized that this need to be perfect is actually negating my wellbeing. Perfection can be thought of like a social construct, it is understood by a variety of people however very rarely is it achieve by these people. We are all human and therefore we can never be completely perfect, from time to time we will make mistakes however that means that we are trying and therefore living our lives.

Although I am a natural performer when it come to the theater arts, I am ABSOLUTELY TERRIFED to sing in front of others if it is not a character in a play. My need to be perfect always prevents me from sharing my voice with others because whenever I record something I sang I can immediately hear the sharp notes and flat notes of certain parts of songs. I shudder and delete the song immediately. I am trying to stop this behavior however because I will never sing a song that is perfect in every way with every note. I have never formally been trained in singing (unless you count all my elementary school years haha ) and I am not a recording artist where I can stop the song and rerecord a specific element I messed up on. This made me realize that it is okay to mess up and it is a part of being human.



Also you do not have to like the song and if you don’t keep your opinions to yourself, I only allow positivity into my life. Enjoy and have a blessed day!


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Look for the “Positives” of Life

How many people always focus on the negatives in life rather than looking at positive elements? I know I am a culprit from time to time however as an unwritten resolution for 2014 I am trying to look at the positive elements in my life. For one, positivity this will allow a person to achieve a greater level of happiness in their day to day life. Additionally who wants to be a sad sack all of the time?  This morning I woke up and discovered that something I was planning on for a couple of weeks was switched around so that I had to change around my plans. Well the old me would have become really upset and sad for a little while. Did I do that? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Instead I dealt with my initial upset and then decided that I was going to see what I could do about it. After much thought I realized that this switch may actually benefit me and I decided to move on with the day.

                As one final hurrah before the start of the spring semester, my sister and I had lunch plans so we went to my favorite Thai place and we had a nice relaxing lunch. After that I wanted to show her the local trendy thrift shop and we decided to split up and find lots of cute clothes. In the store I immediately began finding lots of great deals on name brand clothes and accessories such as Nick and Mo, Forever 21, Nordstrom brands, as well as Coach.  To my surprise all of the items I was finding were ½ off the ticketed price which meant I would really save a lot of money! I basically got my items for $5 and under! This is AMAZING and I attribute it to my positive look on the situation and the day. Who knows if I would be open to shopping if I continued being upset about the situation that I previously experienced earlier in the day.  

I would really like to challenge you to try to see the positives in your daily life as you really will see that it pays off in the long run.  Remember smile each day and try to bring a little bit of sunshine to the people around you it really will pay off!   

Be Who YOU Want to Be

What do you want to accomplish in your life? Perhaps you have had a dream since you were little. Or you could have changed your mind multiple times much like I did. If I think back to my childhood animals were always a fond part of my life and I always had at least one pet. Therefore I thought I wanted to be a veterinarian during my elementary school years. Time went by and middle school came along and by this time I fell in love with the theater, I performed in plays and skits during my middle school years and right along in to my high school years.  However by this time I was on a mission to get done with school as fast as I could. I was taking college night classes after my high school classes and it turned out that the classes I was taking was paving my way toward a psychology degree. Did I want to be a psychologist not particularly but I thought “hey why not I already have all of these classes so let’s go with it” Fast forward to 2011 and BOOM I am a college graduate and I thought to myself what do I do now?

I am not going to lie this time was particularly hard for me because I had no idea what to do. My whole life at that point was defined upon the amount of time it took me to complete college. I graduated community college in 1 yr and UCLA a year and a half early. Although I accomplished this I really had no idea what to do next and the successful feeling I thought I was going to have was extremely short lived. During this time I thought back to my roots and thought about my love of helping people. I get a great sense of accomplishment and joy in my heart when I help another human being no matter how small the task is. Nursing was always a thought in the back of my mind but I thought it would be too hard for me. Although I was still scared I decided that I would give it a shot. As I mentioned before this time was extremely hard for me because I did not know who I was and where I was going in my life. Although I was an accelerated college graduate I didn’t really feel that accomplished.

 Looking back my mistake at this time was looking to others and comparing my current life status to theirs. Things that were extremely trivial were hard to deal with such as others getting engaged, moving in together or things that establish your independent status in life. It is extremely laughable now considering I was pretty much 20 at the time! Barely out of my teenage years yet I wanted to have a “adult life”. 

I was constantly thinking where am I going? Who am I? I knew at this time I was committed to my nursing prerequisites however this is all basic sciences and is just “good to know” background knowledge therefore I was not extremely happy with this waiting period. I wanted direction in my life but I proceeded with my prerequisites for a long year and a half. During this time although I was obtaining A’s in all of my classes I was constantly competing for the “better grade” with my peers. I always got A’s but I wanted to get a “better” A than my peers. I guess I was programmed to do this while I was at UCLA as you are fighting for your grades so I always wanted to go the best in the class.

Perhaps the time that I truly started to find myself was when I was accepted into my graduate school and was done with my prerequisites.  This was the beginning of the time I really found myself. I had just gotten into my first choice school and at the time I did not have any additional classes to take. My life was finally back on a “future” track where I knew I was going.  Fast forward to August of 2013 and I started nursing school, I was so excited yet nervous at the same time. I have always have had a hard time making new friends so I was worried about this however little did I know I did not need to worry about this at all. 

 

 

In my nursing program I can honestly say I have found the most honest, genuine, and kind people I have ever met. Each and every person is special to me and I love seeing my classmates day in and day out. We really are a family and I know we can get through this program with the help of each other. I am so happy and blessed.

The long drawn out message of this post it to not worry about impressing others and to just be yourself. During emerging adulthood I have discovered that we love to compare ourselves to others and often times we feel bad about ourselves if we have not accomplished a set amount of life goals that others have. DON’T DO THIS it will only bring you unnecessary anger and hurt that you are not at the “point” you want to be in your  life, instead embrace your success and what you have achieved in your life. Be who YOU want to be. It may take longer than you expect, however if you stick to it you can achieve all that you want to be.           

Believe in Yourself

Wow! I have not blogged for over 3 months; however you can’t blame me because nursing school is all encompassing and consumes all of my time. Despite all of the studying I have to do I absolutely love nursing school  as I get to learn all sorts of cool things each and every day. It is amazing how much I have learned in a mere 7 weeks. I find myself confident now performing tasks that gave me great difficulty in the beginning of the program. Each and every day I find myself growing in my confidence. This just solidifies the fact that you CAN accomplish anything you set your mind to. It may take some time to actually accomplish but just know you can achieve it. Have faith and believe in yourself!  <3  

One Step Closer

Although it seems the summer has just started I am extremely excited for nursing school to start in August. It is hard to believe that Welcome Week starts in only 30 days and school officially starts in 42 days. About a year and a half ago I began this journey to accomplish my dream to become a nurse  when I began taking my prerequisite courses. Even now as I prepare to start school I still feel a sense of nostalgia that it is actually happing. I never thought that I would get the opportunity to go to such an excellent school especially as an early admit student. I know the next year is going to be one of the most intensive years of my life academically, physically and I bet even emotionally however no matter what challenges I am going to face up ahead I know that I can accomplish anything. I was even so excited about school that I already bought 6 books out of my required 14 books. Intensive much?

  I am ready to start the next step of my journey to accomplish my goal; finally I am one step closer. It took me awhile to get to this place as I originally went to UCLA and obtained a Psychology degree however upon graduation I knew in my heart that psychology was not for me. I really wanted to help others in a more direct and in my opinion influential way.

Never give up on your dreams no matter how hard they seem. Whether it is something related to school, a career, or a relationship, you have to remember that you may not be in the place you want to be right at this moment but you WILL get there as long as you never give up. I never thought I would be at this place a year and a half ago and I now am going to accomplish my goal. Your dream may come quick for you, or it may be long set into the future however through determination, hard work, and baby steps you will accomplish all you set out to do. Remember each and every day you are one step closer to your dreams.

Change of Heart

I feel one of the most important things an individual can carry with them is an open heart. I am not talking about a person that gets taken advantage of and gets walked all over. Rather I feel a person should be open hearted in the sense that they carry their own opinions with them but they do not hold so closely onto these opinions that they try to force their opinions on others. A silly but true example of this can be displayed in my life a couple of years ago. About 2-3 years ago I was the proud owner of two beautiful Labrador retriever’s. My dog's names were Shadow and Whitney. I loved my dogs with all of my heart but what bugged me so much was individuals who brought their tiny little "Fru Fru dogs" to the mall in little strollers and dressed them up in little outfits. This behavior drove me crazy and I remember telling everyone I knew that I was going to bring my dogs Shadow and Whitney to the mall and parade them around just like the little dogs do and see what happened. I never did this of course but at the time I wanted to prove a point that little dogs did not deserve any special treatment just because they were smaller, I thought that if little dogs were allowed into the mall mine should as well despite their large size. The other aspect of little dogs that I could not stand was the little outfits that individuals dressed their dogs in. I looked at this at the time as animal abuse as I believed that dogs did not need clothes because they had fur. Let me repeat I could NOT stand clothes on dogs.

 Let’s not fast forward to the winter of 2012. I had recently lost my best friend since I was eight years old, Shadow due to old age and it really took a toll on me.  A couple months after he passed away my sister was given the opportunity to adopt a smaller dog and this is when Dexter became a part of our family. He was a much smaller dog than I was used to and therefore his old owner had clothes for him. I still held my opinion about the dog clothes however Dexter was so cute that I was not so bothered by the clothes that he had. They were mostly sweaters for the winter months so I figured that was actually pretty practical because he was so small. Time went by and I loved seeing him in all of his outfits. We also got Lottie a Miniature Poodle a couple months back and by the time I got her in the winter of 2013 I loved looking at different outfits I could get for her. I even bought her a little yellow polka dot dress for summer. She doesn't wear it all the time, however compared to where I was a couple years ago this was a HUGE step for me as I vowed I would never and I mean never buy dog clothes.

From this story I would like to stress that although you may have a strong opinion about something now you never know where you will be in a couple of years. This is also important to remember in terms of relationships with others. You may have a strong opinion about something going on in another person’s life however you need to remember that it is not your life and you to think before you say what is on your mind. You can never take something you say back and you never know if you will have a different opinion about an issue in a couple of years. You never want to destroy a relationship all because of differing opinions. For example say a member of your family is dating an individual that you do not particularly care for. Perhaps they do not hold the greatest job at this point of time or perhaps you feel that the relationship is going a bit too fast. If you voice your opinion to your family member you will risk the relationship based upon a silly opinion that you hold at the time. A destroyed relationship is not worth it because you have to remember opinions and feelings constantly change you never know how you will feel about something you dislike now in a couple of months or even a year. I am guilty of this and I have unfortunately destroyed relationships that I had cherished in my life all because I wanted to say what was on my mind when I wanted to say it. These lost relationships have caused me pain and a feeling of rejection because I now no longer am in contact with the individual's all because I wanted to say what is on my mind.

I want to share with you that you never know where you are going to be in a couple year so always and I mean ALWAYS think before you are going to say something. Although you may be feeling a certain way in the heat of the moment you may always change your opinion and have a change of heart. On the flip side if you have been wronged by an individual in the past and they have insulted you in some form or another although you may feel angry you too can have a change of heart. It may not be easy however if you truly value the relationship it is definitely worth a try. Remember everyone no matter what circumstance they are in can experience a change of heart and hopefully this will be for the better and will enhance individual relationships everywhere.