Imperfectly Perfect- A Love Story

           Once upon a time, well about 10 years ago to be exact a lonely girl was searching for something or someone to connect to. She didn't really know what she was looking for, however she came across an app on Myspace. This was the very beginning of dating apps and she was not really looking to be with someone but instead wanted someone to talk to. She came across this guy who happened to live in a town which she thought was far away so she clicked on his profile and began a conversation. She young and naive and obviously directionally challenged thought nothing would come of it because he lived 100's of miles away, however to her surprise he actually lived about 30 miles away. This changed a lot and although she wasn't looking for someone thought it would be fun to get to know this boy a little bit more. They talked for the whole summer, however it always seemed platonic and she was confused about his feelings. She constantly asked herself the question, "Does he like me, or is he just being nice?". When they met up for the first time, he drove all the way to her neck of the woods and had a quick lunch, however she had to work so she invited him to visit her at work, however he never came. After this so called date, if he liked her he surely would have come to visit her at work so she thought that he liked someone else so she thought she had to move on and dated someone else for awhile however always wondered about the guy she met online. Fast forward to about a year later and she was no longer with the guy she previously dated and she began to talk to the boy she once liked and met online and wondered about. One night despite all of her fears while talking to him she asked him if he liked her because she liked him and he didn't really say anything for awhile. Feeling humiliated she thought she ruined their friendship however after what felt like an eternity she saw the typing bubble and he say he liked her as well. After this time, they decided to see each other once again and after a couple of dates wanted to make it officially that they were exclusive with one another. 

            The two seemed perfect for one another and within three months fell in love with one another, this love continued though a variety of ups and downs that life threw at them and continued for 4.5 years. However, at the time life situations seemed to constantly get in the way and they were not the people they once were and were not the people they thought they were supposed to be so they parted ways. While this was hard for both of them and hurt tremendously they had to move on. He went on to date other women and she went on to date other men. Throughout this time, it seemed as if they were picking individuals who were not right for them and after many episodes of betrayal and heartbreak from their respective partners they were constantly there for each other.  They always talked every now and then about how they deserved so much more than the way others treated them. He constantly told her that she was perfect and deserved someone who would also see that and not try to make the relationship all about his needs and instead about the couple as a whole. She would constantly tell him to not settle for less than he really wanted and to shoot for the stars because he was going to go far in life. Occasionally they would meet up at one of their favorite lunch spots after she was coming home from a weekend she had to spend at school. They were great friends and were always a constant in each others lives. 

         After many bad relationships she called him and confided in him about all of her dreams, fears and aspirations and he did the same. They were not strangers in regards to hanging out so one summer night in August he came to her place after a guy’s night. It was late so she was tired and rested her head on his shoulder after eating a late dinner. He was surprised by this and moved in closer. He placed his hand on hers and their fingers interlocked. He looked at her and with deep yearning in his eyes looked like he wanted to kiss her. She asked him "What are you thinking?" he said "I want to do something but I'm scared." She said it was fine whatever he was thinking and he leaned in to kiss her she reciprocated and in that moment for both of them it felt like the whole world had melted away. The kiss was magical and brought back a variety of memories from their previous time together. It had been three years since they first parted ways and decided to give their relationship another chance. Due to knowing and caring for on another for about 10 years fell back in love very quickly and since that time have been extremely happy. They are everything to one another and cannot wait to see that the future will hold. 

       As you can see by this love story, things do not always work out according to your plan however if they are meant to happen will happen in their own time. Never give up and always have faith that when you are meant to get something good it will come to you. Believe in infinite possibilities because anything in this life is possible. I am deeply in love with a man who would go to the ends of the earth and do anything to make me happy so don't settle for less than you deserve and remember while nothing can be perfect you can have a perfect situation in your own eyes. 

It Is Okay To Fail: Ditching Perfectionism

Do you have any flaws? If you answered no, you would be lying because everyone has them. Flaws are something everyone has yet doesn’t talk about because they can make us appear less than perfect and in our world we want to be seen as perfect. This is personified to us when we are children and only gets reinforced as we get older. Throughout our schooling years we are told we must study and get great grades so we can get into the perfect college. While we are in college, we are told we need to be our best person and should look our best so we can meet the perfect partner. After we met this perfect partner the list continues to strive to have the perfect house, perfect job, perfect kids and the list goes on. While it is okay to have goals and aspirations the problem is that perfection is a fallacy. There is not one thing on this earth that is perfect, yet on a daily basis we strive to be perfect and always fall short due to the inability to be perfect. Constantly striving to be perfect brings feeling of failure, self doubt, anxiety and depressive thoughts.

 I unfortunately have been struggling with the need to be perfect my whole life and while I am better than I used to be still find myself trying to attain perfection. The need comes from the desire to be the best version of yourself however a problem exists when you have already done your best and still blame yourself for your shortcomings. I remember in elementary school we used to have a pre-spelling test on Thursdays and if you spelled all of the words correctly you didn’t have to take the test on Friday. While I was not a terrible speller I always got at least one word incorrect and this caused me to have to take the test again while my friends got to play. At this point in my life I was about eight years old but the fact that I had to take the test again made me feel as if my classmates were smarter and better than me due to them simply being better at spelling. This is a terrible burden for an eight year old to hold, however I lived with it and carried it throughout my life to the point where I am finally fed up with self doubt and the need to be perfect. Self doubt and perfection causes us to constantly ask what we did wrong and how we can get it right next time. It causes us to blame ourselves for things which are completely out of our control. Finally, it destroys our spirit and causes us to carry around negative oppressive energy which eliminates the beauty of the world. This blog has no intention to make you feel sorry for me and the struggles that I have had in my life but rather to make you realize that perfection is impossible and that it is okay to make mistakes in life. You don’t have to ace every test, you are not expected to get your dream job out of college, and you don’t have to meet a life partner at a specific time period. It is okay to fail because it will make you learn who you are and how strong you are despite all of the obstacles in life. So next time you feel the desire to doubt yourself don’t because giving it your all is enough. Remember perfection is a fallacy and should be eliminated from our lives

Please enjoy the song Get it Right from Glee which personifies what happens when our desire to be perfect overrules our life

Quitting Social Media- A Personal Story

Think about your childhood, life was so carefree and everyday was an adventure. Besides the occasional test or two at school everything was wonderful and the world was your playground. Life was so incredibly simple yet a simple place such as a backyard could transform to a whole new world.  At one point in time my backyard was the jungle and I trekked between the trees in search of treasure buried in the deep forest. My front yard was a bicycle yard and my siblings and I rode up and down the mountains which in realty was the slope of my street as well as my neighbors’ driveways. The front yard also was a baseball diamond allowing my siblings and I to hit home runs and play baseball on the front yard. The pool was the greatest place to be and my siblings and I would swim in the deep ocean being very careful to not awaken the great and mighty shark who lived in the deep end of the pools abyss. Fast forward to where we are now and instead of being driven by our imaginations and the world of make believe we are driven by the fake world of social media. It is incredibly sad that instead of children growing and learning through their senses like I did they are glued to an Ipad or some sort of device electronic device.

While I love the fact that the internet brings me quick information when it comes to schooling it has created an environment where as I mentioned in another post we are only on it to show “how great our lives are” when actuality people are struggling on a daily basis with their own self-esteem and stress of life. It is a false reality which constantly causes us to compare ourselves to others. This can cause a situation where people are subconsciously competing with one another and the competing can be deadly emotionally if we are not in that stage of life.  Things which are meant to be enjoyed in the moment are now done on a daily basis. While a simple food photo never hurt anyone 20 years ago we didn’t take pictures of our food, we simple ate it. This then begs the question why should we be sharing aspects our what we do in our daily lives? Where has our sense of privacy gone? We live in a world were we constantly want to be seen and want to feel important so perhaps this is why we share aspects of our daily lives but at the end of the day while people may like these posts they may not actually care. Maybe that is just my opinion personally but after a hard day at work all I care about is my family and not what one of my friends ate for lunch. I don’t mean for this post to offend anyone and I apologize if it does but I am simple trying to prove the point that it should not be overtaking and controlling our lives. We live in a society which is addicted to social media.

I honestly am one of those people who did compare themselves to others and have done so in the past. Social media was something which was a constant which I thought was cool to connect with others but actually became an addition and actually made me feel worse about myself although I have a lot going for me in my life. With that being said I make a conscious decision to get rid social media of it to live a more meaningful life. I now live more in the moment, connect more with family and friends, as well as to get back into the things I love which allow me to use my imagination. About two weeks ago I cold turkey quit social media and have not been on since.  While I have not deleted my accounts completely I have not gone on and don’t have the desire to do so.  I am trying to work on myself and what brings me joy in life and the elimination of social media has helped that tremendously. I am more at peace with myself and am finding more joy in everyday experiences. The next time you are thinking about going on a social media site think to yourself if you really need to do it or if you can find joy in the day without the need to find it in the social media